Monday, January 7, 2008

First Annual Landthieves College Football Awards

A lot of organizations and media types give their end of season awards in early December, but they haven't even played 32 bowl games at that point. So we waited.

Ramonce Taylor Award for Criminal Mischief - Rashaan Norwood, Kansas State. There were several notable nominees from Texas, as well as Ryan Broyles managing to steal his way into a redshirt year and DeMarcus Granger releasing a coat on its own recognizance in Phoenix, but I decided I had to go with Norwood. Two arrests in one day just shows that ability to take your game to the next level that many don't display.
Best Game Plan in an Embarrassing Loss, sponsored by the Joe Dickinson Foundation- Ron English, Michigan vs Appalachian State.
Worst Defensive Performance in a Bowl Game, sponsored by Kevin Cosgrove - (tie) Oklahoma Sooners vs West Virginia, Bowling Green vs Tulsa. I would have given this to the Falcons on the sheer numbers, but their offense gave Tulsa several short fields. West Virginia had to "earn" their 48 points.
Best Sideline Apparel by a Head Coach - Mark Mangino, Kansas vs Texas A&M
Outstanding Donor Correspondence, sponsored by Bad Idea Jeans - Dennis Franchione, the VIP Connection.
John Blake Award for Shuffling Quarterbacks in a Season - Guy Morriss, Baylor. Didn't really work that well for him either. There's that old saying that says, "If you have two quarterbacks, you don't have any." New saying, "If you have five quarterbacks, you have a lot of free time in your future."
Seth Littrell Award for Slow White Guy Scoring a TD - Owen Schmitt, West Virginia vs Oklahoma
Jerry Rice Clutch Grab of the Year - Allen Mike Beckett, Oklahoma City.
Worst Tackling Technique - Lance Brandenburgh, Nebraksa vs Missouri.
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf Award for Excellence in Media Relations - Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State vs Jenni Carlson
LandThieves Player of the Year Award - John David Weed, Baylor. JDW did not get to play much this year, but I had a lot of fun at his expense. I believe the combination of new Baylor coach Art Briles and a little bit of Weed will ignite the Baylor offense in 2008.


poopsandwich said...

Very nice HeadThief, you obviously put alot of thought into that.

And thanks for allowing Baylor folks to win two of your awards. Mr. Morriss has alot of time of his hands, indeed. And lets face it, if Weed would have had more time on the field the B may have won more games.

Keep up the good work.

John said...

I know a little bit of weed improved my sex life. Should work wonders with Baylor's offense.

HeadThief said...

Frankly, the Baylor D could stiffen up a little bit and it wouldn't hurt anything either.