USC Self Reports

In the wake of the Sooners reporting another minor violation to the NCAA, our sources on the west coast indicate USC has also self-reported some minor violations.

In their report, the Trojans disclose that a booster apparently left the keys to a million dollar home along with a pound of coke and four strippers outside QB Matt Barkley's dormitory room.

The Trojans contend that the booster left keys to the wrong home, that Corp is just moved into a rental flat near campus at market rates from the booster, who owns property adjacent to campus. The cocaine and strippers incident is not an infraction, as those items are readily available immediately off campus at all hours of the day to any student.

The NCAA has declined to comment, and only indicate they are reviewing the matter internally.

Stolen Thoughts 02-14-09

Baylor is recruiting athletes with weed - I mean speed - to burn

Texas Tech and Texas will play Sat night on Sep 19. This game will be in the middle of a murderer's row of games for the Horns, Louisiana-Monroe, then Wyoming (on the road!), then the Dust Pirates, and they close out the month with the UTEP Miners in Austin. Texas had done a good job of avoiding a repeat of last year's Oklahoma-Missouri-Oklahoma State-Texas Tech gauntlet. Looks like they flipped Central Florida and Texas Tech. This is taking a tip from the SEC, where most teams sneak in a Sun Belt or Southern conference foe in the middle of the conference grind.

According to some, Matt Simms, younger bro of Longhorn alum Chris Simms, is eyeing Oklahoma after a stint at juco this fall.

Nichol gone

Two schools of thought of the Sooner fans I've spoken with:

1) no big deal, because Landry Jones is a stud;
2) huge loss, because Halzle is a fraud as a backup QB.

The official LandThieves view: I have no freaking clue. I recall eighteen months ago, there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth b/c the 2007 QB "was not on campus yet" per all the radio pundits I listened to on the way home from games. OU managed to do without Tommy Grady, we survived without Noah Allen. No disrespect intended to those gentlemen, but it's not like Troy Aikman Jr. transferred out the door. Pardon me, I digress. Somewhere between the late fall of 2006 and the late summer of 2007, Sam Bradford figured out how to play QB at a very high level, and Halzle was capable in a backup role. Was Nichol a bust? I wouldn't say that. He may go on to have a very successful college career...he's got three years of eligibility left, and we here at LandThieves wish him well. Unless he lands in Stillwater or Austin, and we'll pray for curses upon him.

As for the view that Landry Jones is going to save the program next...let's hold off on that. Twelve months ago, everyone was convinced Nichol would separate himself over the summer and would take the reigns in the fall. Didn't work out that way. Jones may redshirt a year and QB for the next three years. He could blow a knee out in spring ball next year. For all we know, he could do a marvelous impersonation of Hunter Wall, Rhett Bomar or Brent Rawls.

We'll hoist a drink to Keith Nichol
Who found himself in a pickle
On the depth chart as three
Was painful to see
He found this football thing fickle.

Keith, best of luck from the HeadThief and it's faithful reader(s).

Longhorns Offer Scholarship to Kevin Hart

by Edwin Simmons, Austin Bureau Chief
Austin, TX (LTP) - late this evening, Texas University FB Coach Mack Brown offered a scholarship to Kevin Hart, a Nevada high school student who apparently concocted a press conference and story about getting an athletic scholarship to Cal-Berkeley.

In a prepared statement, Mack said, "We talked it over with Honorary Athletic Director Joe Jamail. We decided if the kid could pull of a ruse like that, he would be an excellent resource for our football team. Clearly, he's either going to choose pre-law or political science as a major. He says he's a 4.0 student and scored a 2000 on his SAT. hat will balance out the Phys Ed majors and make us look smarter."

Mr. Hart was unavailable for comment.

Recruitin' - A Pictoral Essay

You haven't seen any talk here on the recruiting trail here. My father-in-law is a big fan. Here is why I don't follow....the girl the said recruit left behind looks like this.

The campus escorts look like this.

Neither of these groups of ladies talk to you once you get on the college campus. This is distressing.

One of said recruites teammates introduces the 6-5 250 lb 4.5 recruit to their high school classmate, Biff. This is Biff. This is the academic counselor. With all these distractions, plus easier access to alcolohol the campus experience provides, many a "recroot" ends up with a BAL that exceeds his GPA or his 40 time. See Wall, Hunter; Rawls, Brent; or Bomar, Rhett. They might not even make it to campus, courtesy of that icky "ess-ay-tee" thing.

If they are eligible to play in September, I'll make an effort to learn their name.