Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Stolen Thought 12-31-08

I know Rick Reilly generally doesn't need anyone to drive traffice to his site on, but here's a great column I read this morning.

Happy New Year to everyone.

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi Haiku

Feds bail out Penn State.
Carroll undefeated when
playing Big 10 foes.

Capital One Bowl Haiku

Uga takes on Sparty
Bet the Dawgs and cash will be
What's in your wallet.

Gator Bowl Haiku

Huskers beat Tigers
In revenge match from ‘82
Bugeaters love Bo

Outback Bowl Haiku

Cocks and Hawkeyes play
For the first time in hist’ry
Old Ball Coach loses

Chick Fil-A Bowl Haiku

Tech stays home
The Hat invades Atlanta
Triple option rules

Shanahan Fired

Former Oklahoma assistant coach Mike Shanahan, who learned enough under Switzer in one year to carry him into a 30+ year coaching career with multiple Super Bowl rings, was fired by the Broncos today.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Mike Stoops lands record deal

Earlier this week, Arizona officials announced occasionally embattled head football coach Mike Stoops would receive a contract extension through 2013. subject to approval by the U of A Board of Regents. This has eliminated a lot of negative recruiting noise.

However, in an unprecedented move, Stoops has also signed on to the be Co-Defensive Coordinator Designate at the University of Oklahoma, where he will go immediately upon his firing from Arizona, whenever that is. Said Stoops the Younger, "There is no federal bailout plan for coaches. $1,025,000 doesn't go as far as it used to, especially if Obama raises taxes like everyone thinks he will. I make a little extra change, and I don't have to worry about where my next meal comes from if I can't replace Willie Tuitama".

Innovative Sooner Athletic Director Joe Castiglione said, "We wish Mike the best at Arizona, but we really see this as a 'first option' on Mike should the Wildcats turn on him. The best case situation for us is for Arizona to keep making lower tier bowls and playing in mid-late December, which frees him up to help us out in the week before our bowl game. Wait, is that thing on? Gimme that-"

Roady's Humanitarian Bowl Haiku

Terps travel to Boise
Noone is buying tickets
To see Turtles lose.

Valero Alamo Bowl Haiku

Tigers quarterback
Picks his nose while pumping gas
Mizzou beats Wildcats Bowl Haiku

Storied rivalry
Is not played at Legion field
Scarlet Knights beat Pack

Friday, December 26, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

Wishing both my readers a Merry Christmas, here's a new Christmas Classic by the Longhorn Singers, to the tune of "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"

All I want for Christmas is two hundredths points.
Two hundredths points, see two hundredths points.
Gee, if I could only have two hundredths points,
Then I could see you in Miami.

It seems so long since I could say,"We lost thirty-nine to thirty-three"
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I'd be If I could tackle Crabtree.
All I want for Christmas is two hundredths points.
Two hundredths points, see two hundredths points.
Gee, if I could only have two hundredths points,
Then I could see you in Miami.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Much speculation 'bout grades in Norman these days. Here the Head Visor squashes it all. Also, we find out that Phil Loadholt obtained his degree in multidisciplinary studies.

I decided to see if I could figure out what a degree in mutidiscipinary studes means. I am old, and could not figure it out from looking at It's good to know that he's disciplined in multiple things, but I don't think eating normal portions is one of his strong points at this time.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl Haiku

FishEaters hit beach.
Coach Weis pushed into water.
Natives save beached whale.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl Preview Haiku

TCU goes West.
Trick plays won’t help the Bronchos

Past the Killer Frogs.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

RL Carriers New Orleans Bowl Haiku

You’re not mid-major
A trucking firm sponsors bowl
Let’s move on now.

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl Haiku

Mormons in Vegas
For the fourth year in a row.
Stoops loses bowl game.

Magicjack St. Petersburg Bowl Haiku

What’s a Magicjack?
Is it legal in Texas?
Bulls defeat Tigers

New Mexico Bowl Haiku

Old WAC rivalry
Renews in Albuquerque.
Rams lose. Hundreds care.

Bowl Haiku Series

This year we'll be doing Haiku previews for the bowl games. I know you can't wait.

First, we've got the Eagle Bank Bowl, where Wake Forest plays Navy.

Open an account,
Get two free tickets to game.
Baptists top Middies.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Murray, Granger out for BCSNCG

Well, that's a bummer. DeMarco Murray is out with a ruptured hamstring, now this.

With the travel industry already ailing, the chances of Granger riding a bus back from Miami, FL to Norman just got a little smaller after DeMarcus had back surgery.

A quick review of the Sooner roster indicated there are no more Demarci on the roster to be ruled out tomorrow, so it should be a quite news day.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Saturday, December 13, 2008

An Interesting Analysis

Ed over at National Championship Issue has a great analysis of relative strength of the team in relation to how other teams fared. In the analysis, it shows that Florida and Oklahoma were the two best teams in CFB this year.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Stolen Thoughts 12-12-08

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Heisman Finalists

As expected, Sam Bradford was selected as a Heisman finalist, along with McCoy and Tebow. TT QB Graham Harrell was not invited to NY, and Coach Leach is less than happy. I don't blame him. Harrell had a great year, coming up big in the Texas and Okie State games. I would imagine his performance in the OU game hurt him in the eyes of the electorate.

As for how the final Heisman voting plays out, I expect it to be 1) Tebow; 2) McCoy; 3) Bradford. I believe this because: a) Bradford, McCoy and Harrell split the Big 12 vote; b) I think nationally many discount the Big 12's perceived lack of defense (at least Tebow does); c) there' s a part of the electorate that will vote for Tebow because he's had decent numbers, and he won it last year, much like Archie Griffin's back-to-back Heisman trophies in the mid 70s.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

LandThieves CFB Awards

It's time again for the LandThieves CFB awards, 2008 version:

  • Bad Idea jeans award: Buck Burnette, UT
  • Most open receiver the entire freaking stadium knew was getting the ball: Jordan Shipley, Texas, 2nd half, Oct 11.
  • Best whining performance by a fan base: Texas
  • Mack Brown Award for sucking up to voters: Mack Brown, Texas
  • Best performance in a video taunting your rivals:
  • Brent Parker award for catching excellence: Blake Gideon, UT
  • Thurman Thomas award for not being ready at the start of the game: Nebraska Cornhuskers
  • Best fourth place finish ever: Oklahoma State University
  • So, Mrs. Lincoln, How was the play award, non-Illinois governor division: Brandon Crow, OU LB, Oct 11
  • Jimmy the Greek award for excellence in prognostication: HeadThief

Stolen Thoughts 12-9-08

Chuck Long is bitter about getting fired from San Diego State. I'm curious to see how Chuck's next job plays out. I wouldn't think there's a lot of market for a head coach with a 9-27 record. I thought he was a decent enough QB coach.

Finally, some folks are preaching sanity about OU "running up the score". Dr Saturday and Jerome Solomon at the Houston Chronicle provide some unemotional fact thingies about the game.

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Last Time OU played each SEC team

I thought it was odd that OU had never played Florida.

You could also say that we're undefeated. 



The Last Time OU played each SEC team



Reg Season


Florida nevernever
Tennessee never1968


South Carolina nevernever
Vanderbilt 1977never
Mississippi Statenevernever
Ole Missnever1999
the last time the Sooners played a regular seaons game in a hostile environment of a school presently in the SEC...2003 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

The last time Florida Played each Big XII school

SchoolReg SeasonBowl
Kansas State1973never
Oklahoma State1990never
Texas A&M19621977
Iowa Statenevernever

the last time the Gators played a regular season game in a hostile environment of a school presently inthe Big 12...
1939 in Austin, Texas.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Heisman Comparison

From the LandThieves Research dept:
The following data is presented courtesy of data at Each of the players below quarterbacks a one-loss, top 10 team:

Player A's passing stats: 168-244-2450 with 27 TDs and 4 interceptions
Player B's passing stats: 160-246-2299 with 25 TDs and 2 interceptions
Player C's passing stats: 186-232-2142 with 19 TDs and 3 interceptions
Player D's passing stats: 228-327-2567 with 25 TDs and 5 interceptions

Which would you vote for?
Which would I vote for if I told you that Player B is Tim Tebow's regular season statistics for the entire year, and that A, C, and D are the FIRST HALF statistics for Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and Graham Harrell respectively?

A Proposal

While watching the Tiger beating last night, an idea came to me. What if there were a tie breaker provision that provided for two intra-divisional foes to settle the battle on the field.

For example, if three top 10 teams are tied in the South division and the North division's leader has a) a losing record against the South; and b) the ranking of the North leader is lower than 15, then the Big 12 championship is a rematch of the two South Division teams with the highest BCS ranking. Or something like that.

That way there's a minor proviso that keeps us from having the routs like we've had in a few games lately. On the other hand, it would rule out some classic upset opportunities.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Big 12 Champions

The Sooners 28 point second quarter launched the Sooners toward their third consecutive Big 12 championship. The Sooners took advantage of great field position on three of the drives, and went 89 yards for the other score.

Venables did a fabulous job with the defense again. Frank Alexander had a fabulous game. I'm starting to think he was stabbed at that bar by a Longhorn fan. Quentin Carter lit up Daniel and Maclin on separate occasions taking advantage of extra time on the field due to the Reynolds/Box injuries and the Tiger spread offense. Brian Jackson had a nice pick to setup a score.

Demarco apparently has a knee bruise. I thought he had compressed vertabrae after the tackle on the kickoff. Chris Brown had his usual solid game, and Mossis Madu showed he can play at this level when given the opportunity.

Manny Johnson and Jermaine Gresham apparently traded hands prior to the start of the game.

Barring some bizarre voting tomorrow, the Sooners will take on the Florida Gators for the national championship. Amazingly enough, the Sooners have never played the Gators.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Stolen Thought 12-6-08

The new EA sports game Mens Softball, 2009, is sure to be a classic.

Your Predictions for Today

I know you wish I would have analyzed the Ball State -Buffalo matchup, but I missed that one yesterday. Your MAC Champions are coached by former Husker great Turner Gill, who will probably make some serious coin this year in the transition from Buffalo to Syracuse/Washington/Auburn or replacing whichever coach jumps to those jobs.

On to the previews:

Conf USA Championship - Tulsa plays East Carolina. Skip Holtz's Pirates - which are really terrorists at sea so why are we glorifying them? You don't hear of a school calling themselves the UC-Irvine Suicide Bombers. Anyway, back to the preview. ECU started the year off by beating Virginia Tech and West Virginia. Later we realized those teams weren't any good. Tulsa started off 8-0, then lost to SEC doormat Arkansas and were sestroyed by Kevin Sumlin's Houstan Cougar team. Tulsa has better passing stats than OU. I look for Tulsa to win this game, for Todd Graham to renegotiate his contract on Monday and take a new job on Wednesday. Actual results may vary. Prediction: Tulsa

ACC Championship - Va Tech plays BC. Can't you can just feel the excitement? Nope, me either. Tickets for this game are selling like hotcakes - you can get a stack of four for about $5, with eggs and your choice of toast, english muffin or biscuit. Prediction: Loss of consciousness, and a BC victory.

SEC Champsionship - This game means a lot. Not only is it likely for a spot in the BCS NCG, it's also a duel that has Cristin Duren's soul in torment. Ms. Duren was Miss Florida, but a Bama cheerleader. Florida is a double digit favorite in this game. While we were unable to get Ms. Duren to preview the matchup, we did obtain this quote from spokeperson Lauren Caitlin Upton, "Cristin is just broken up. She can't decide who to root for. Her mascara won't stop running. Mark Gottfried has his New Improved Tide team playing at pre-1993 probation levels, and Gator coach Rural Meyer is just so dreamy. And that Todd Tebow has such big muscles! He can play doctor with me any time." Thanks for the insight. Prediction: Alabama.

OU-Mizzou - here are links to two articles that tell you how Missouri might upsets the Sooners, but go on to predict 20+ point victories. I didn't know John Kerry did sportswriting. Prediction: Oklahama

USC-UCLA - OJ's got a better chance on appeal than UCLA does in this game. Prediction: USC.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Church Sign seen in Norman

A church sign that may have been seen in Norman this week...
or not.

My Favorite New Site

Also, a plane flew over Austin and the UT campus stating, "Hey Mack, quit whining, U knew the rules".

The beauty of this is it appears to have been UT fans that funded this.

And finally, an article from Gil LeBreton in the Startlegram from Monday says this best.

Sooner - Tiger Preview

It's not that often that a team goes 9-3, wins their division, and is considered to have a disappointing season, but that's probably waht one woudl say about Missouri at this point. Prior to the beginning of the year, most assumed the Tigers would be the same offensive threat if not better (correct) and would be better defensively (not so much). Chase Daniel has had a solid year, throwing for 34 Tds and 3,880 yards. On the downside, the 13 picks are more than desirable. The defensive showed up suspect from the beginning of the season, with the Tigers allowing Juice Williams of Illinois a career day of 451 yards passing. The Tigers set as the 92nd ranked team in yards allowed, and are 117th in passing yards allowed. This does not bode well for the Missouri D.

The Sooners are coming in on a roll, having scored 60+ poionts in the last four games. They have the third best passing attack in the country, and the running game has come on with authority the past few games. Chris Brown and DeMarco Murray should finish teh game with over 1000 yards for the season. That'll be the first time that's happened since 1973, when Joe Washington and Waymon Clark (who?) both broke the 1000 yard barrier. To contrast, in that year, the Sooners threw for 1,011 yards for the entire year.

I just don't see how the Tigers are going to stop the Sooners. I'm more than a little concerned that Mike Balogun, third string LB, will fare in his first start against the tiger D.

I think the difference here is the Sooners ability to create turnovers and make third down stops. Missouri may resort to allowing the Sooners to score just so Jeremy Maclin can return the kick.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Bonus SEC Championship Coverage

Some folks have been saying SEC title game is really a semi-final to the national championship (which is really a croc, because they Florida might not overtake Texas if they won, and Missouri is NOT going to play for the national championship no matter what the margin of victory). Nonetheless, I contacted a Crimson Tide student this week and here's our report from Tuscaloosa. I also contacted the only Florida alum I knew, and was slapped with a temporary restraining order. Erin Andrews has NO sense of humor. Without further ado, I submit the Miller High Life report:

  1. How has the loss of Jimmy Johns effected this team?The biggest contribution JJ made to the team was allowing the student population to laugh at him as he ran out on the field with his arms outstretched like a child mimicking an airplane.
  2. Florida has been on an offensive roll after losing at home to Ole Miss. Saban is a well respected defensive mind. How do you see Nick stopping Tebow, Harvin and Co? The truth is that Alabama has not played a team with a dual threat QB like Tim Tebow. Some readers may think that Kodi Burns was a dual threat, but he lacks the appropriate amount of brain waves needed to be considered a threat thowing the ball (move over Dan Marino and Vince Young!). So we will see if we can contain someone like Tim Tebow. Also, our friends in Tallahassee took care of Mr. Harvin and even if he plays, he will not be 100%. All that being said, that still leaves Demps, Rainey, and Jacobs, not to mention Coppell native Emmanuel Moody. In this case, the best defense is a good offense. JP and the offense need to keep them off the field. When they are on the field however, we need to put them in third and long situations and force Tebow to use his arm. As explosive as Florida is, everyone forgets that they are a running offense. I do not think they will be able to run the ball up the middle due to Terrence "Mount" Cody, our 365 (down from 420 at the beginning of the summer) Nose Tackle who demands a double team and sometimes even requests triple teams. This frees up blockers from our other linemen and linebackers who make a lot of plays. With that in mind, Florida will have to run outside because although we are big, we are slower than Florida (but who isn't). Note that Florida's only loss came from an Ole Miss team with two very big lines.
  3. Do you think Coppell native Emmanuel Moody will see any playing time? Maybe after someone gets rocked after trying to go across the middle on Rolando McClain. But historically, his problem has been holding on to the football, which a rough hit'em in the mouth Alabama defense will surely exploit. If Percy Harvin can't play, he might get more touches than usual.
  4. The SEC West - aside from the Tide - is not as strong as it usually is. Do you think playing a softer schedule - albeit not by design - puts the Tide at a disadvantage this week? I think it puts us at an advantage because we are a lot healthier than Florida, plus remember that we whooped Georgia in a blacked out Athens that nobody gave us a chance at winning. Besides Percy Harvin, Florida will be without two reserve defensive lineman. Although that doesn't sound like much, Florida's weakness is their defensive line. Look for our offensive line to wear them down very quickly and without that extra depth, Florida will have to bring their linebackers and safeties up closer to the line of scrimmage, which screams play action. That is, if necessary. There have been many times this season where a team will put eight in the box and Coffee will still fall forward for 4 or 5 yards, especially in the second half.
  5. Alabama has been average on offense this year, but certainly done enough to win 12 games. How do you see the offense faring against the Florida D? We're going to physically dominate their defensive line and run the ball behind Andre Smith (the top NFL draft prospect in the nation) and the left side of the offensive line. We may toss a couple to diaper dandy Julio (soft J) Jones (hard J) to keep them honest. With such a fast defense, we will run it right at them until they stop us. Pretty simple. What's your prediction for the game? As Lee Corso says, it will be closer than the experts think. If we can hang with them in the first half, look for Florida's defense to have a rough second half. On the other side of the ball, Alabama's nasty defensive line will have to generate a big push, clog holes, and force Tim Tebow to throw it to be successful. In Alabama's last National Championship year (1992), they played against a heavily favored, exciting Florida Gator team in the SEC championship and won. Their gritty defense, coached by Paris, Texas native Gene Stallings and led by a young George Teague was able to contain the Gators and later on, defeat the Miami Hurricanes in the National Championship. Also, Alabama won the NC the last time a democrat was elected into office for his first term, so we also have that going for us. There are several other meaningful statistics like that which unavoidably point to a Tide win in my opinion.
  6. Are you making the trip? As the SEC correspondent for LandThieves, I thought that I was going to be provided a media pass to be on the field and record my thoughts but I have not received it in the mail yet. It will probably show up tomorrow though. I will be in Atlanta for the game but not inside the stadium unfortunately. Only 361 graduate students got tickets for the game.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

LandThieves All Big 12 FB team

Last year I just poked fun at the Big 12 selections, like Brody Eldridge as an all conference FB when the Sooners list him as a TE. This year, I decided to do my own team. For the official one from the Big 12, click here.

For my Sooner all big 12 team, I’m going with a 4 receiver, one back set. Finally we’re going with a a 3-4 defense to combat the pass heavy league.
  • QB – Colt McCoy – many thought he had lost a little bit off the fastball and was perhaps a one year fluke as a frosh. McCoy proved them wrong, leading the Horns in rushing and passing. At the beginning of the year, Brown planned on alternating McCoy with Chiles, but Mack was smart enough to go with McCoy for the year. He put up some impressive numbers without a TE or a running game of consequence. Aside from Jordan Shipley and Quan Cosby, name a receiver. If you did, you’re a Texas fan and probably shouldn't be reading this site anyway.
  • RB – Kendall Hunter, Okie State. Hunter led the Big 12 in rushing with 1518 yards and 9 games over the 100 yard mark. This wasn’t a big 10 type of 1500 yards (350 carries), it was on 228 carries, an average of almost 7 yards per game.
  • WR – Kerry Meier, Jordan Shipley, Michael Crabtree, Dez Bryant
  • KR (tie) – Perrish Cox, whoever’s returning kicks against OU this week
  • OL – pick any five man combination from Texas Tech and Oklahoma
  • FB - (jumbo package) – Chase Coffman, Missouri

Now for the defense...

  • DL – Gerald McCoy
  • DE – Bryan Orapko, UT, Brandon Williams, TT
  • LB – Travis Lewis, OU; Joe Pawelek, Baylor; Sean Weatherspoon, Mizzou; Sergio Kindle, UT
  • DB – None; have you seen the passing stats for the conference?
  • K – Jeff Woffert, Mizzou. Made all 67 XPs and was 17-22 on Fgs.
  • P - Justin Brantley, TAMU. Not only did he lead the league in yards per punt, he got lots of practice, too.
  • Coach of the Year – Art Briles – seriously, did you think Baylor would be competitive this year? They led TT in the fourth, took Mizzou to the wire and led Nebraska in the second half. They nearly beat Connecticut in Storrs. We all expected TT, Texas and OU to be top ten teams this year.
  • Freshman of the year – Robert Griffin, Baylor
  • Sophomore of the year – Sam Bradford, Oklahoma
  • Junior of the year – Colt McCoy, Texas
  • Senior of the year – Brian Orapko. Texas

Monday, December 1, 2008

ESPN Gameday sign

Last week, the whiners at made up signs in an effort to sway the polls in the Horns favor. So, if you're travelling to Gameday in Atlanta this week, be sure and help a Sooner.

Top 10 Things Mack can say to his players

I heard / read somewhere that Mack wasn't sure what he'd tell his players if they watched two teams they'd beaten play in the Big 12 championship game. Mack spent so much time Fri and Saturday politicking I'm sure he's out of breath and ideas now that his fears have been realized. As a courtesy to the former OU assistant, I present to you the top 10 things Mack can say to his football team.
  1. I'm sorry I scheduled Florida Atlantic.
  2. I'm sorry I scheduled Rice.
  3. I'm sorry I scheduled UTEP. We were trying to schedule Temple and complete the Owl trifecta, but they were already committed to play Connecticutt.
  4. I can start my at home teeth whitening earlier. I should be done by the Christmas party now.
  5. When playing double coverage, one of our defenders should be between the end zone and the offensive player. I'm just sayin...
  6. This is all Blake Gideon's fault. All he has to do is catch one little measly batted ball, and this isn't an issue.
  7. Saturday night, we can watch Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest Criminals instead of the Big 12 championship game. Everytime you see someone wearing a Texas athlete, you have to do a shot.
  8. Our 45-35 sign campaign allowed the FedEx/Kinko's franchise I own to have it's best month ever!
  9. On the other hand, the Greenpeace organization on campus has informed us the campaign was not carbon neutral. We will be planting trees Thursday afternoon to offset the harm to the environment.
  10. The Vince Young "How to Handle Adversity" talk has been postponed indefinitely.

Prediction Review

Back in July, I predicted the following for the Big 12 South;

OU; Texas; TT; TAMU; OSU; Baylor. Basically, I underestimated the dearth of talent inherited by Sherman, and underestimated Briles' impact on the Bears. I also think it's fair to say I didn't imagine OSU would be such a strong #4 either.

In the Big 12 North, I predicted:

Mizzou; Kansas; Nebraska; Colorado; Kansas State; Iowa State. The only thing I missed here was Nebraska - Kansas. Two factors I probably underestimated here: NU-KU game was in Lincoln; Huskers big 12 South foes were Baylor-Ou-Tech and KU got OU-UT-TT.