Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Switzer new talk show host on XM

I learned earlier this week that Barry Switzer will now be a radio host. Last night, I had the strangest dream, I thought I would share it with you.

TJ: Welcome to the inaugural XM Sports Nation this Morning, my name is T.J. Rives. Coach Switzer, how are thing in Norman?

Barry Switzer: TJ, they are just ^$$@ awesome. I've got a couple of friends coming over after the show and we're going to watch me punch Dale Hansen on youtube.

TJ: Alright, let's take our first caller. Jon from Sallisaw, you're on the air with Coach Switzer.

Jon in Sallisaw: Coach, I still think you got a raw deal back in 1989. You're the greatest. Thanks, and I'll hang up and listen.

BS: Jon, thanks, but you didn't ask a question. T.J., who the h@# do we have next?

TJ: Coach, we have Eugene from Broken Bow.

Eugene in Broken Bow: Coach, do you think Oklahoma will go back to the wishbone this year?

BS: Eugene, thanks for your call. I'm a big fan of the wishbone, but I think it's tough to be an elite team running the wishbone today. You see, the 'bone is predicated in getting bigger faster people to the corner than the defense. With those big @#$! safeties in the BCS conferences often weigh 220 and up, and the overall speed at every position on the ***** field, I think it's much tougher to be successful running the 'bone in today's college football. As a result, I don't see Coach Stoops bringing back the 'bone. TJ, who's up?

TJ: Next, we have Steve in Enid.

Steve in Enid: Coach, I was at that game against Rice in 1978. That was awesome! Hey, do you think Stoops will go back to the 'bone this year? It doesn't look like we have a QB this year, and maybe we should just get more RBs on the field?

BS: Steve, as I was telling Eugene a couple of moments ago, I don't think the bone is coming back to Norman anytime soon. TJ, give us another #$!#$@ question.

TJ: Our next caller is Monte from Bowlegs.

Monte from Bowlegs: Coach, I don't think the QB position is going to be very good this year. Do you think we can just go back to the wishbone?

BS: ***! Monte, I think I've answered this a couple of times before. The three QB's they have battling right now probably throw the ball better than anybody I ever coached in college, with the exception of Troy Aikman, who we ran out of - Girls! You're here early. The hot tub is out back. I'll be there in a few minutes. TJ, where the $^&% were we?

TJ: Next, we have Dave from Weatherford.

Dave from Weatherford: Coach, I was at the 1985 game against Nebraska. That was an awesome W! Boomer! Click.

TJ: Callers, please have a question for Coach Switzer. It just makes things easier. As long as the question isn't about the wishbone. Next up is Pat from Owasso.

Pat from Owasso: Coach, do you remember when Troy broke his leg against Miami in 1985 and you brought in Jamelle and you boys won the national championship? Who on the team do you think could come in and run the wishbone like that for the Sooners today? I'll hang up and listen.

BS: $%***$! You've got to be ****** kidding me. TJ, if you can't find someone to ask a question about something other than the wishbone, I'm out of here.

TJ: Next, we have Junior from Cordell. Junior has promised to avoid the wishbone topic. Go ahead, Junior, you're on the air with Coach Switzer.

Junior from Cordell: Coach, do you remember after the Colorado game in 1987, you went to Legends and had a few drinks and started talking to a communications major?

BS: Brunette or blond?

Junior from Cordell: Brunette.

BS: Not really, I talk to a lot of coeds after a victory. It helps me wind down.

Junior from Cordell: Well, I think you did more than talk, because she tells me that you're my -- .

TJ: I think we lost Junior. Next, we have Demetrius in Wewoka.

Demetrius in Wewoka: Coach -

BS: Demetrius, please turn off !#$ your radio while you're on the phone.

Demetrius in Wewoka- Sorry, coach. Don't you think Keith Nichol would be a good wishbone QB? I think we could use Joe Jon Finley as FB, Allen Patrick at one HB and DeMarco Murray at the other HB. What do you think?

BS: ****** TJ, I'm madder than Woody Hayes at the ***** Gator Bowl. Next question.

TJ: Next we have Jay in Bristow. Jay, you're on the air.

Jay from Bristow: Coach, what do you think about Air Force abandoning the wishbone? Don't you think they could still win with that offense?

BS: Girls, make room for me in the hot tub.
TJ: Coach? Well, I guess that's all for today. Be sure and tune in on Friday, when Coach Switzer talks to us about gun control.

1 comment:

jaydou said...

I'm tuning in every night....

Quinten from Bristow