Boone State #1 in Preseason Poll

by Senior College Football Analyst Joe Huff
Hong Kong, China (LTP) - Boone Pickens recently took a trip to China which was allegedly planned for BP's business interests. However, in an exhaustive investigative journey through southeast Asia, LTP has discovered the real motive behind the trip - to find a league where the Mike Gundy led Boone State Cowboys could win a championship. Through this junket, Pickens discovered the Pokes could clearly be the best American college football team in China, bought the Chinese government run newspaper, added a sports section and released the poll, which had no one ranked #2.

In a prepared statement, Coach Mike Gundy said, "Boy, this really takes the pressure off to win now. Actually, it's not that there's no pressure now, but the pressure is different. Now we need to find another American college football team in China."

Boone State gymnastics resigned upon hearing the news, and Boone State disanded the program. The gymmastics coaches were unavailable for comment.

University Chairman Boone Pickens said, "I'm an impatient man and I'm 80. My $165 million last year got me a 3-5 Big 12 conference record and tied with Baylor for last in the South Division. It's tough to turn around years of losing, I've got my name on the stadium, and we even discussed putting my name on the seats. If T. Boone Pickens name is going to be associated with winning football, and not for wrecking the town of Bartlesville, OK, I think this is the quickest way to do that."