Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Big 10 Court TV Network Launched

by Big 10 Correspondent Jim "Chrissie" Everett

Chicago, IL (LTP) - Much maligned Big Ten Commish Jim Delaney and Court TV executives announced today that the two fringe networks have joined forces to create an even more obscure network, the Big Ten Court TV Network.

“We already have a lot of programming lined up for the coming year,” stated Big Ten Court TV CEO Kevin Weiberg. “We believe with the tremendous number of indictments and arrests we are experiencing within the conference, this network will have the national appeal we so desperately crave. When you’ve got geniuses like these two in
Iowa City, we have a lot of zany talent to tap into. Below is a list of several exciting series we have lined up for our viewers this year.

Iowa City 911! – a spin off of the Reno 911! series, this show takes you inside the whimsical adventures of the Iowa City PD. Hosted by Dan McGwire.
University Cops! - The Big 10 3 of the top 5 in the
Fulmer Cup standings. With this sort of talent pool, the opportunities for Big 10 athlete criminal mischief is limitless.
Prison Poker Tour - Former Buckeye QB Art Schlichter brings you the Prison Poker Tour from a) Elkton, Ohio; b) Terre Haute, Indiana; c) SandStone, Minnesota; and d) Minersville, Pennsylvania.
Dude, where’s my testicles? – former Buckeye Robert Smith co-hosts with Tony Mandarich in search of Mandarich’s steroid-shrunken family jewels.
Speeders, Not so Much – Star Jones and Maurice Clarett star in a wacky new roving morning show where Star and Maurice race from the athletic dorm to the nearest Dunkin Donuts in each of the college towns in the Big 10. Fun for the whole family!
What Not to Wear to Your Court Appearance – John Amechi and ESPN’s Mike Greenberg team up to help Big 10 student athletes shop the finest clothing stores in East Lansing to find that special look for their court appearance.

Please contact your local cable operator today. Operators are standing by.

3 comments:

jaydou said...

The prison poker tour gives a new meaning for the word "raise"...

HeadThief said...

A pair of queens may have a different meaning as well.

jaydou said...

Very nice...