Mike Stoops lands record deal

Earlier this week, Arizona officials announced occasionally embattled head football coach Mike Stoops would receive a contract extension through 2013. subject to approval by the U of A Board of Regents. This has eliminated a lot of negative recruiting noise.

However, in an unprecedented move, Stoops has also signed on to the be Co-Defensive Coordinator Designate at the University of Oklahoma, where he will go immediately upon his firing from Arizona, whenever that is. Said Stoops the Younger, "There is no federal bailout plan for coaches. $1,025,000 doesn't go as far as it used to, especially if Obama raises taxes like everyone thinks he will. I make a little extra change, and I don't have to worry about where my next meal comes from if I can't replace Willie Tuitama".

Innovative Sooner Athletic Director Joe Castiglione said, "We wish Mike the best at Arizona, but we really see this as a 'first option' on Mike should the Wildcats turn on him. The best case situation for us is for Arizona to keep making lower tier bowls and playing in mid-late December, which frees him up to help us out in the week before our bowl game. Wait, is that thing on? Gimme that-"