Boone State needs someone to die

Boone State needs someone to die
By HeadThief, Senior Editor-in-Charge

I read last evening that Boone State has invested more of their hard earned dinero with good ol' T. Boone Pickens. It's good to know they have some excess money after paying for those insurance policies for their donors while waiting for them to die. One particular quote stood out to me at the end of the article. Boone State AD Mike Holder - pardon the digression, but how many schools promote the freakin' golf coach to AD? - responded to a question about the timeline for building the indoor athletics facility with: "We don't know. It all depends on Boone Pickens' ability to grow this fund. We won't build anything else until we have the money to pay for it."

Then it hit me. The football schedule this year is all part of the master plan. Playing Georgia on the road to open up the year, getting your tail whipped and having a booster die during the beatdown is potentially much more lucrative than paying Houston Baptist to travel up for a meaningless home game. Plus, some of those 1-AA schools can be pretty competitive.