Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Baylor Announces Starting QB

While stuck in construction traffic on I-35 between Waco and San Antonio on his way back from the Big 12 Media Days, Guy Morris sat on the shoulder with our own Joe Huff and revealed a change of heart in his starting QB situation.

LT: Coach Morris, I appreciate the opportunity to get the inside scoop. Who’s your QB? Is it Juco transfer John David Weed? Or former Kent State Flash Michael Machen?
GM: Well, I’ve decided to go try Weed.

LT: Can you elaborate on your decision making process? We expected you to wait through two a days before you and your staff made a decision.
GM: First of all, he’s a good kid from a great family. His father, Zig and mother, Mary Jane, are outstanding. He’s just the best of both of them…like two people rolled into one.

LT: With all due respect, Coach, you’re losing focus. Could you answer the question? Can you tell me about your decision making process?
GM: Dude, he’s just some awesome. When Weed’s in the locker room, his presence just permeates the entire team. Everyone seems to settle down when they know Weed is around. Are those brownies? Mind if I have one?

LT: Leave my tape recorder alone. What about on the field? Does he have a stronger arm? Better decision making? Quicker feet?
GM: Man, I am so hungry right now - sorry, it’s really just an overall offensive feel. When we go with Weed, the offense just seems to be so much more creative, and it just flows, man. He’s adjusted to the pace of the game at this level, and the game really seems to slow down for him. He’s just awesome.

LT: Will you continue to get the other QBs reps in the system?
GM: You bet, if there’s one thing we all know about Weed, you don’t want to burn him out.

LT: I’ve heard that Weed was injury prone at the Junior College level. Can you elaborate on that? Does it cause you any concern going into the 2007 season.
GM: Joe, we did extensive probing in this area during the off-season. What we found that he was susceptible to muscle injuries, but his joints are fine.

LT: The offensive line was not a strong point for the Bears last year. Is that a concern this year? How do you feel about that unit going into the season.
GM: I’ve got to be honest with you, Jim -
LT: It’s Joe.
GM: Sorry, John. I have to confess the O-Line is a concern. QBs can wear down over the course of the season, and I would expect that Weed could lose his effectiveness after people start taking hits on him.

LT: Coach Morris, I’m out of time, and puns. Thanks for your time, and best of luck this season.
GM: Sure, dude. Hey are you done with those Cheetos?

2 comments:

jaydou said...

Dude...I lost my school....
Jamalle Hollaway

Very nice

Red Andrews said...

Thank you.

That was hilarious.

Red