Baylor U Plants Seeds for "Weed for Heisman" Campaign

By HeadThief, LandThief Press Editor-in-Charge

A trip to the McIntosh County Courthouse yielded an impromptu interview with former Oklahoma Univeristy gridiron star Jamelle Holieway. Holieway revealed that he has principal ownership in the sports marketing firm Do You Know Me, Inc., and that Baylor University Athletic Department has engaged DYKMI to launch an aggressive marketing campaign toking - I mean toting - John David Weed as a dark horse Heisman candidate. Mr. Holieway, presently limited to one phone call a day in his present accommodations, has leveraged the entire campaign to a newcomer on his staff, Jeff Spicoli. Spicoli was a classmate of Mr. Holieway's at Ridgemont High in the early 1980s. Mr. Spicoli was unable to break from his busy schedule to sit down for a chat, but we were able to convince him to pose for the photo above.

Baylor has been reluctant to fund Heisman marketing campaigns in the past as a result of an ill advised campaign 39 years ago. Baylor football is still recovering from the remmants of that 1968 Heisman marketing campaign when BU touted the prospects of RB Pinkie Palmer. While Mr. Palmer, a senior, led the Bears in rushing and total yard, he was unable to unseat Orenthal James Simpson in Heisman voting that year. Mr. Simpson tallied 2,853 points that year, to Pinkie's zero.

It is this reporter's opinion that Mr. Spicoli should start a grass roots campaign on behalf of Mr. Weed, and hope the campaign grows from there.