Friday, February 15, 2008

An Interview with Reveille

Yesterday we learned that Reveille VII will retire at the end of the year. Today, we rushed down to College Station to interview the beloved beast. Read on for a LandThieves exclusive:

LT: Reveille, congrats on your career. What do you see yourself doing now?
R: I'm looking forward to the basic dog stuff...licking myself, chasing my tail, eating my own poop, stuff like that. I'm also looking forward to settiing down with a mate. After six years of being fawned over by a bunch of socially misfit males, I'm looking forward to just settling down with a dog. I underestimated the creepiness of Mascot Company.

LT: Have you ever thought about blogging? is available, you know.
R: I gave it some thought. It's tough to type with paws.

LT: Your predecessors served a longer period as Reveille than you. Why are you retiring early?
R: Are you kidding me? In dog years, I'm in my mid40s. How many other mascots in their mid 40s do you know? Bevo XIV's only been on the job three years. Ralphie's in transition. You don't see ponies in their mid-40s up in Norman do you? They just retired the old ones there, I believe. It was time to move on.

LT: Who was your favorite coach during your tenure?
R: I really liked Coach Slocum. He was a down to earth guy. He would feed me table scraps when no one was looking. I told him to get rid of Dino Babers and promote Kevin Sumlin. It almost saved his job.

LT: Miss Rev, some of your detractors point to the football team's lack of success during your tenure. How do you respond to that?
R: That's a crock. Coach Fran and I never really connected. He wanted to run the show, and wouldn't take any advice from me. I can coach any sport. Some of the less informed believe Billy Gillespie resurrected the basketball program. That's not true. I played a major role behind the scenes. Look how he's doing in the Bluegrass State. He's nothing without me. We're still winning and I'm still here. Coincidence? I think not.

LT: Are you sure you can claim to have resurrected the basketball program? that would imply it was alive and well at a previous time.
R: Good point.

LT: Last year, you were suspended for a football game after biting a handler on the thigh. You were not made available to comment at the time. What's the rest of the story?
R: He had it coming. Those long legs can cover more territory than my short little collie legs. He was dragging me along on that dad gum leash again. I was going for his crotch, but he lunged away from me and I got his thigh.

LT: Do you have any insight as to who the Reveille VIII will be?
R: I think they're still reviewing their options. I did hear that one of the dogs they're considering is a real bitch.

1 comment:

jaydou said...

Wow! I think Reveille and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog are a match made at PetSmart...