Rodriguez resigns from WVU

West Virginia Coach Rich Rodriguez, fearing a major butt kicking in the Fiesta Bowl by the Sooners, has chosen the easy road and resigned to take the head coaching job at Michigan. Said Rodriguez, "I watched ESPN's college playoffs, I realized the Sooners were the best team in the country. I just didn't want a piece of that."

Rogriguez was asked whether he could win a national championship easier at Michigan instead of West Virginia. "You bet! Look, at Michigan, you have to beat Notre Dame, a couple of MAC schools, then cruise through the schedule until the Ohio State game. Once the NCAA catches up to the Sweatervest, that matchup will be a piece of cake. In the Big East, we have to go up against a national recognized opponent every week. Take our loss to Pittsburgh, for example. They have a great history there, with Curvin Richards, Mark May, and Tyler Palko. It's tough to beat them no matter where you play them."

Landthieves insider Drew Henson asked Rodriguez if he really met with a financial advisor while in Toledo. Rodriguez nearly broke down in tears. "I'm tired of answering that question. Look, I'll be honest with you...I suck at math. I knew WV was paying my $2.0 million, and Michigan offered me 2 and 1/2 million. I've never been good with fractions, so I flew to Toledo to talk with a friend of mine and see which one was the better deal."