Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Switzer earns Kennedy Award

Today I learned that Coach Switzer earned the John F. Kennedy Community Service Award by the Oklahoma Council of the Knights of Columbus.

I hadn't thought of it before, but there are a lot of similarities between Switzer and Kennedy, just like Kennedy and Lincoln had many odd similarities.

  • Kennedy and Switzer each have seven letters in their last name.
  • Kennedy started his presidential term in 1961. Switzer started his coaching career at Arkansas in 1961.
  • Kennedy's successor, Lyndon Johnson, was born in Texas. Switzer's success, Gary Gibbs, was born in Texas.
  • Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln, which is made by Ford. President Ford was referred to as "an asshole next to Switzer" at an OU-Texas game.
  • Kennedy tried to invade Cuba. Half of Cuba moved to Miami, FL, where Switzer recruited Sooner great Elvis Peacock.
  • Kennedy lived in Washington while President. Switzer paid Joe Washington $100/hour to watch his kids.
  • Kennedy had an affair with an intern. I don't know if Larry Lacewell's wife was an intern.
  • While President, Kennedy oversaw the SEC. Switzer only played two games against SEC schools, both crappy Kentucky squads. Wait, those are different SEC's let's try that again...
  • While President, Kennedy oversaw the SEC. The SEC later accused Switzer of insider trading .
  • Alleged voter fraud in Texas improved JFK's performance in Texas. Kerry Jackson's altered transcript in a Texas high school put Oklahoma on probation when Switzer took over the reigns.
  • Kennedy's wife lost a child while living in the White House. While a Cowboy coach, Switzer had players making babies in the White House.
  • Kennedy was shot in the head in Dallas. Switzer was a head coach in Dallas. (There were a lot of possibilities here. I took the high road.)


jaydou said...


Christov said...

Now that's compelling. I'm truly shocked these similarities haven't been brought up before. Proves everything MUST be cyclical!

poopsandwich said...

HT, this is some of your finest work yet.

I must admit, when I saw the thread title, I thought this would be about a drinking contest somewhere. Wrong Kennedy. My apologies...

Keep up the good work, and if I ever get inspired again, you will see it on my blog.