Friday, April 4, 2008

BugEater Jokes

With all appropriate apologies to my Husker friends, I have a neighbor who is a Husker and is quite a nuisance. He's easily the least favorite of the Huskers I know. So, today we are posting Husker jokes.

  • What's the difference between a Cornhusker and a Dollar Bill? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
  • You know how second string QBs can usually be found wearing a cap instead of a helmet? In Lincoln, that honor is reserved for the punt returner.
  • What do Nebraska Cornhuskers and possums (opossums if you ask my S-M-I-L) have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  • Did you hear about the Nebraska D-lineman who stole a police car? He saw 911 on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
  • What is the difference between a BugEater cheerleader and a catfish? One has whiskers and smells and the other is a fish.
  • A little boy and his mother were walking in a cemetery in Lincoln when they came upon a headstone that read, "Here lies a Nebraska graduate and an honest man." The boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury 2 people?"
  • A Husker fan called the hospital saying "My wife is having a baby, what should I do?" The nurse asked, "Is this her first baby?". The Husker replied, "No, this is her husband."
  • What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Cornhusker? Six more weeks of bad basketball.
  • How many Huskers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he gets money, a car, and three hours of credit for it.
  • Why doesn't the Nebraska football team have it's own web page? Because they can't put three Ws together.
  • What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a Husker? A tattoo.
  • A young ventriloquist is touring Nebraska and stops in Lincoln to do a few shoes. He's going his usual stupid farmer jokes when a Husker running back stands up and says, "I've heard just about enough of your smart aleck farmer jokes. We ain't all stupid here in Nebraska. " Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The Husker interrupts, "You stay out of this, fella. This between me and the little guy on your knee
  • A Nebraska grad is invited to the wedding of a college friend. He and his son travel to Omaha for the big occasion. After eating a few chips at the reception, the man sends his son for something to drink. The boy comes back empty handed. "I couldn't get any this time, someone was sitting on the well."

Thanks, I feel better. Be sure and tip your wait staff. I'll be here all week. If you have others you'd like to add, put 'em i nthe comments or email me at landthieves - at - gmail . com

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