Switzer earns Kennedy Award

Today I learned that Coach Switzer earned the John F. Kennedy Community Service Award by the Oklahoma Council of the Knights of Columbus.


I hadn't thought of it before, but there are a lot of similarities between Switzer and Kennedy, just like Kennedy and Lincoln had many odd similarities.

• Kennedy and Switzer each have seven letters in their last name.
• Kennedy started his presidential term in 1961. Switzer started his coaching career at Arkansas in 1961.
• Kennedy's successor, Lyndon Johnson, was born in Texas. Switzer's success, Gary Gibbs, was born in Texas.
• Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln, which is made by Ford. President Ford was referred to as "an asshole next to Switzer" at an OU-Texas game.
• Kennedy tried to invade Cuba. Half of Cuba moved to Miami, FL, where Switzer recruited Sooner great Elvis Peacock.
• Kennedy lived in Washington while President. Switzer paid Joe Washington $100/hour to watch his kids.
• Kennedy had an affair with an intern. I don't know if Larry Lacewell's wife was an intern.
• While President, Kennedy oversaw the SEC. Switzer only played two games against SEC schools, both crappy Kentucky squads. Wait, those are different SEC's let's try that again...
• While President, Kennedy oversaw the SEC. The SEC later accused Switzer of insider trading .
• Alleged voter fraud in Texas improved JFK's performance in Texas. Kerry Jackson's altered transcript in a Texas high school put Oklahoma on probation when Switzer took over the reigns.
• Kennedy's wife lost a child while living in the White House. While a Cowboy coach, Switzer had players making babies in the White House.
• Kennedy was shot in the head in Dallas. Switzer was a head coach in Dallas. (There were a lot of possibilities here. I took the high road.)

4th and Long

Watched the Spike TV show 4th and Long this evening. Not sure what I expected, but I found the show kept my interest for the hour. I would have been okay with seeing fewer people vomit.

The show has a Sooner tie-in, as it has Moses Washington, a former Sooner track and field man who allegedly was on the Sooners 2000 National Championship team. The crack LandThieves research team could not find mention of Washington as a letterwinner, per the OU Media 2001 Football media guide. He's also not listed as a roster player on Soonerstats.com. The Daily Ok website says he walked onto the 2000 team as a DB. Washington was a track All-American, in the 800 meters indoors.

A press release by SoonerSports.com does mention Washington, during August practices prior to the 2000 season.

Moses appears to be quite the thespian now, per a brief review of his myspace page.

Another tie-in is former Texas Longhorn Erick Jackson, whose claim to fame is knocking the snot out of Sooner Reggie Smith on a punt return during the 2006 OU-Texas game, and returning it for a touchdown*.

Googling Erick, you also find Erick followed Malcolm Kelly into the end zone for the decisive score in the Sooners 28-21 victory in 2007.

*Sooners recovered, but TD claim was made on behalf of Longhorns who wanted Erick to feel good about himself.

Sooner Recruit Chaisson arrested

DE Justin Chaisson, a recruit from Las Vegas, was arrested and charged with assault with a deadlyh weapon, coercion with a deadly weapon, false imprisonment and three counts of battery with domestic violence.

Holy cow. Here's the article from the Daily Oklahoman.

First of all, if this is all true, I pray the girl is okay and that Chaisson is appropriately disciplined and seeks help. Second, I would imagine part of that discipline is going to be at least a suspension, if not even revocation of scholarship. We'll see what the Sooners do.

Police thwart Bosworth's fire prevention

The Boz was arrested last night for DUI - on a Harley. Sources familiar with the situation say he was "going to Norman to help Austin Box put a fire out."

Fire Safety with Austin Box

Austin Box put out a small brush fire near a Norman night spot earlier this week. While I believe he should be lauded for his achievements in fire safety and water conservation, the Norman Police were not as amused, and cited him for 'outraging public decency'. I'm not even sure what that means. I think it relates to the raging fire he extinguished.

Murray, Granger out for BCSNCG

Well, that's a bummer. DeMarco Murray is out with a ruptured hamstring, now this.

With the travel industry already ailing, the chances of Granger riding a bus back from Miami, FL to Norman just got a little smaller after DeMarcus had back surgery.

A quick review of the Sooner roster indicated there are no more Demarci on the roster to be ruled out tomorrow, so it should be a quite news day.

A Proposal

While watching the Tiger beating last night, an idea came to me. What if there were a tie breaker provision that provided for two intra-divisional foes to settle the battle on the field.

For example, if three top 10 teams are tied in the South division and the North division's leader has a) a losing record against the South; and b) the ranking of the North leader is lower than 15, then the Big 12 championship is a rematch of the two South Division teams with the highest BCS ranking. Or something like that.

That way there's a minor proviso that keeps us from having the routs like we've had in a few games lately. On the other hand, it would rule out some classic upset opportunities.

Random Thoughts before I early vote

• Cincinnati moved to 6-2 last night with a win over the 23rd ranked USF Bulls. The Bearcats have had three QBs this year, and petitioned to use Ben Mauk for a 6th year, but were denied. Oregon and Cincinnati have both done quite well this year in spite of having to start three different QBs.
• The Sooners haven't lost to the Bugeaters in Norman since 1996, when Nebraska beat OU 73-21. The game was not as close as the score indicated.

Aggies Breaking Records, but not in a good way

I read the DMN today where the Aggies hadn't opened 0-2 at Kyle Field since 1972, during Emory Ballard's first year. That year, the Aggies went on to start 0-3 at home, as they lost to Army, Texas Tech and Texas Christian before beating Arkansas. As a matter of historical reference, in 1972, the movies nominated for best picture included The Godfather and Deliverance. Since Deliverance brought a whole new meaning to squeal like a pig, it's only fitting that the Aggies snapped this streak against Arkansas. The Aggies finished 3-8 that year.

The Aggies host Army next Saturday in an effort to not repeat 1972. Since Army has played Temple, New Hampshire and Akron while going 0-3 and being outscored 85-20, the prospects for an Aggie W are good.

The Iron Skillet Series

Serious, what the **** is a battle for an iron skillet? Who thought that idea up?
My five minutes of research on the web did not indicate the reason for an iron skillet. So, I came up with my own theories.

a) My wife will hit me up side of the head with an iron skillet if I watch this football game.
b) Justin Willis' throwing motion looks as if he's flipping pancakes from an Iron Skillet.
c) You'd have to be as dumb as an iron skillet to watch this game if you weren't friends/family of the players.

Purdue - Indiana plays for an Oak Bucket, Minnesota - Wisconsin is for Paul Bunyan's axe. Washington - Washington State is for the Apple cup (pretty rotten apples this year).

I guess an Iron Skillet isn't so bad.

Job 1:20

Back when President Red Andrews covered the B over at Bearmeat, he often related his coverage of the football game to Scripture. Out of respect for Red, we're doing the same tonight. Job 1:21 says "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Twice the Bears made defensive stops in their own territory, picking UConn passes off to avert a score. Early in the fourth quarter, the Bears were given a new life with a roughing the passer penalty that erased a Robert Griffin interception. The Bears marched the rest of the way to the end zone, capped off by Griffin's third TD pass of the night to take a 28-24 lead. The Bears even held the Huskies to a three and out on their next possession, but a 55 yard punt pinned the Bears in the shadow of their own goalposts. Three plays and a near safety later, the Bears punted from their own 9. A 35 yard punt was fumbled by the Huskies, but Jordan Lake was penalized for kick catch interference. A replay of the play showed a Husky attempting to block Lake was the one to run into his own player, causing the melee that pushed the ball back into Connecticut territory. Nonetheless, the penalty stood. Instead of a Husky drive starting on their side of the field, they were now starting on the Bear 29.

The B defense had made necessary stops all night, but wasn't able to on this occasion, and UConn took a lead they would never relinquish. Griffin drove the Bears to the UConn 29 late in the fourth, but a fourth down pass to Kendall Wright fell incomplete and Connecticutt ran out the clock.

Robert Griffin has to be exceeding all expectations. I had figured the Cream, as Art Briles calls him, would be starting QB this year, but I had estimated he would be a typical freshman, with a maddening mix of phenomenal plays and astoundingly inept plays. His inept plays are few and far between, and the superior plays by far outweigh them.

Griffin is not the only good football player on this team. Pawelek is a force as a linebacker while Wright, Gettis and Finley are genuine offensive threats and are benefiting tremendously from Griffin on the field and Briles pulling the strings on the sideline.

UConn is a good football team. This team went 9-4 in 2007, and beat Rutgers and South Florida last year. The Bears nearly pulled off a road win against a team of this caliber, and they've definitely shown they're going to cause some trouble in the Big 12 this year.

Maybe that writer who picked them ahead of the Aggie in the Big 12 South new something after all.

Josh Jarboe - Rap Musician

JJ continues to get in trouble. Gun charges were reduced earlier this year, so now he's in the great state of Oklahoma. However, he had this nice rap video posted on the internet this week, now it's making the rounds of the internet.

One of the least offensive lines is "I'll shoot ya --- up like a ---- pool table." Really? You're supposed to shoot a pool table? I'm just not with it.

Anywho, I'm done with this guy, and he's not on the field yet. His second chance was letting him come this way after his gun charges. He can grow up / be a risk at some other program.

The A-11

Saw this on Yahoo! sports and then again on Deadspin, so I thought I would give it additional exposure. It's the A-11 offense, where all players are eligible receivers, until five "set" at the line of scrimmage. The formation uses two quarterbacks.

When you combine Baylor Coach Art Briles' i) abundance of quarterbacks; ii) abundance of former quarterbacks now playing WR; and iii) deviant offensive mind, I would be surprised if he doesn't roll this out somewhere along the way this year in some sort of limited capacity. This makes the Ninja, Spread, etc. look lame.

Sign in the Switzer Center

Whew! That was a close one.

Jason White Seeks Return to Gridiron

by Senior Editor Joe Huff
Norman, OK (LTP) - Sources close to both parties indicate that Sooner great Jason White has indicated he wishes to come out of retirement and return to the gridiron in 2008.

A person close to the situation spoke with Coach Bob Stoops earlier today about Jason’s desire to return to the Sooners. The Sooners were very pleased with how Sam Bradford performed last year, and are hesitant to disrupt Bradford’s continued development by welcoming the legend back to the program. White has been out of football for several yeas now, and the Sooners offense has evolved around quarterbacks that can get from the couch to the refrigerator without aid from a roommate or spouse. Coach Stoops is on vacation, and intends to speak with Jason when he returns.

Several media outlets reported Jason sent a text message to athletic director Joe Castiglione this weekend expressing interest in coming back.

White would not respond to numerous interview requests for this story. Many close to the situation say he looking to improve upon his legacy. Although the Sooner fought back from debilitating injuries to both knees, and holds most Sooner passing records, many Sooners are quick to forget about his Oklahoma pedigree, the Heisman trophy and gritty determination. Those same fans are quick to remember his 0-2 record in BCS national championship games, capped off with a three interception, two touchdown performance in a 55-19 loss in the 2005 Orange Bowl.

Jason has completed an application for job as window washer at Big Red Sports and Imports, which is a formality in the process for Sooner footballers to be reinstated to the program. Big Red Sports and Imports indicated an application was provided to the Sooner legend, but receptionist Jarrod Reese indicated it has not been returned to the Human Resources department for consideration.

If Jason is to take this pivotal step toward his return, the Sooners will be faced with a public relations and strategic dilemma. Their options appear to be: a) clear room in the graduate program for Jason to pursue his PhD in kinesiology, where his thesis would be. “Knees, Overrated”; b) discourage White from pursuing his doctorate; c) release him from his scholarship, which would free Jason up to pursue his PhD at another university.

One of the Sooners biggest fears is that should they release him he would return to the field as an Oklahoma State Cowboy, taking advantage of the new athletic facility funded by corporate raider Boone Pickens.

One unconventional scenario the Sooners are rumored to be considering is bailing Jamelle Holieway out of jail in Eufaula, bringing him to Norman to dine with Jason, and getting both of them arrested. Some Sooner insiders believe this would be enough to discourage Jason from returning to the program for a seventh year.

College football writer N. Somnia contributed to this report.

Alcohol

Mammoth Sooner OT Phil Loadholt was arrested last weekend for DUI and violating the state's open container law, according to the internets. Loadholt is 6-8, 351 lbs, per the Sooner web site (which is fraught with inconsistencies - he's 337 on one page, and 351 on another). He was tested with a BAL level of 0.15.

During my exhaustive research for this story, I found a handy blood alcohol calculator. For you out of state folks, Oklahoma's legal limit for alcohol content in beer is 3.2% According to this calculator, 351 lb Phil would have to consume 22 bottles of beer in a two hour period. Short of using a tool like pictured at left, it would be very difficult to consume that much alcohol in such a short period of time. If Phil were drinking Jack Daniels, he would have to drink 17 shots in a 3 hour period.

To contrast, being a 5'10" 210 lb lifelong Baptist, my alcohol consumption abilities are vastly inferior to Mr. Loadholt's. A similar amount and consumption time would leave me with a BAL of 0.27. According to the OU PD site, a .25 BAL level leaves one with 'all mental physical and sensory functions are severely impaired', and 0.30 gives one a level of "STUPOR. You have little comprehension of where you are. You may pass out suddenly and be difficult to awaken." So I would be somewhere between severely impaired and about to pass out. Phil's BAL level of .15 left him merely with gross motor impairment and lack of physical control. Both get you locked up.

One of the amusing elements of this, first read at Orson Swindle's EveryDayShouldbe Saturday.com, is that the OU PD has a blood alcohol level calculator on their website. However, you have to be 240 lbs or less to use the tools, so they are no use whatsoever to most of the football team. I think a petition should be started to modify the OU website, so that it might be a more useful stool to one of the most visible elements of the student body. It's even possible Mr. Loadholt could consider the university as responsible for his actions,being that a reliable calculator was not made available by the university.

For further analysis on this story, we contacted the Landthieves legal analyst, Cedric Benson. However, it's 945 pm on Saturday, and Ced's been out on his boat all day, so let's just leave it at "Mr. Benson was unavailable for comment."

New Oklahoma Record Set Today

The headline on this article says it all, "Sewage disaster leaves over 700 gallons of human feces in woman's home. This is the largest amount of crap in a home in Oklahoma since a coaches barbecue at Howard Schnellenberger's home in August 1995.

Will Sam Bradford have a soph slump like My Little Pony?

Got to wondering this today while driving back to work after picking up a copy of Phil Steele's preview. In 07, Bradford shattered (36) McCoy's one-year old record for TDs by a freshman (29). McCoy followed that up with over 3000 yards and 22 TDs, but threw 18 picks. What will Sam do? I respectfully submit my thesis that Bradford will not slump.

Offensive Line Stability - McCoy started 2007 with three new starters on the offensive line, including having to replace two All Big 12 selections. McCoy was sacked 24 times in 07, only 14 in 2006. Bradford returns 6 offensive line starters (with at least six starts) and the top ranked o-line heading into 2008. The unit has accumulated 130 career starts.

Coaching - Longhorn offensive coordinator Greg Davis' best coaching move career to date has been to tear up the playbook and start listening to Vince Young's ipod. After a couple of games last year year, the Horn coaching staff began to realize that McCoy was not VY, and they veered away from zone read and related abuse to McCoy from defenders. The Sooners offensive coaching knows Sam is a drop back passer. The O-line and RBs will be quite sufficient to allow Sam to continue to progress as a top notch QB.

Defense - the Longhorn defense allow 7 pts more per game in 2007 than 2006. This forced McCoy to be more aggressive on the offensive side of the ball and he ended up taking risks that did not pay off. The Sooners will be green in the back seven, but the D line could be special. Assuming Ryan Reynolds stays healthy, and at least one of the highly touted LB recruits pans out, the LB corp will be fine. The linebackers will also be aided by convert Keenan Clayton, who served as an over-agressive safety when on the field the past two years. The DBs will be stabilized by Lendy Holmes and Nic Harris. IMO, Marcus Walker and Reggie Smith did not live up to their recruiting hype, and their loss may not be as big as one would expect.

Criminal Justice - the Horns majored in Criminal Justice studies through most of the summer and early fall workouts, leading to distractions and uncertainty on the team, which led to faulty execution. The night life options are much less tempting in Norman than our neighbors to the south in Austin. The kids just drink in the dorms, so you don't have to drive back home. It's simpler that way.

There's my theory. Read it and weep.

New Compliance Efforts Announced

The Associated Press found that the Sooners have made several adjustments to compliance practices in response to "the Troubles" of 2005. Most notably, the Sooners have limited employers to only employing 5 Sooners at once. After obtaining additional infromation via the None of Your Damn Business Act, LandThieves identified the other restricitons put in place by the Sooners;

1. Only one player can distribute drugs at any given time. This will mitigate recurrence of an unfortunate instance from 1989 when Charles Thompson was arrested for selling cocaine and many people were surprised it wasn't Jamelle Holieway.
2. Automobile dealerships are limited to providing U.S. built automobiles to athletes.
3. Players may only accept exempt positions, elimating that pesky "reporting of hours" problem.
4. Employers are required pay employee-athletes in small, unmarked bills.
5. The company responsible for maintaining the artificial turf at Gaylord Family Memorial Stadium has been relieved of it's duties.
6. The contract for mowing the infield grass at Marita Hynes Field has been terminated.

The Sooners believe these measures will keep the NCAA at bay for a while.

Memorial Day

Work and travel made it difficult to properly memorialize Sooner great Jack Mildren last week.

On Memorial Day, in a completely insufficient tribute to those who died fighting for our freedoms to do stuff like post stuff online for free, here's a link to a fabulous SI story by William Nack about Sooner Bob Kalsu, who died serving our country during the Vietnam War.

Take a moment to remember those who paved the way.