Switzer Irked at Comparisons to Clinton

In a special sit down interview after a San Antonio reporter compared him to Bill Clinton, LandThieves editor in chief Joe Huff sat down with The King.


JH: Walk we through your thoughts when you read this article.
BS: You've got to be freaking kidding me. Monica Lewinsky? Gennifer Flowers? I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.


JH: Well, you're both from Arkansas, and reputed to be philanderers. You don't see the comparison.
BS: Have you seen Hillary? If I were married to her, I'd definitely break the marriage vows. Of course, I wouldn't marry her in the first place. Ivy Leaguers with cankles just aren't my type.


JH: Tell me about other ways that you're different than Clinton.
BS: By most counts, Bill had 8 good years, tops. Clinton used police officers to help him meet women. I can get them on my own. I won three national championships in 15 years. Five years after resigning, the Dallas Cowboys came calling. What did you see Bill Clinton five years after his presidency? Campaigning for his wife? Bill intimidated interns into having relations with me. I slept with my assistant's wife - so they say.


JH: What president do you see yourself most like?
BS: JFK. We both became famous in Dallas.