Vince Mulls Retirement; God's Calling

Article on nfl.com speaks of Vince Young mulling retirement, then recognizing God's calling for him. Theologically, I got no issue with the man considering what he's supposed to do with his talent, but I did think of this motivational poster.

New Compliance Efforts Announced

The Associated Press found that the Sooners have made several adjustments to compliance practices in response to "the Troubles" of 2005. Most notably, the Sooners have limited employers to only employing 5 Sooners at once. After obtaining additional infromation via the None of Your Damn Business Act, LandThieves identified the other restricitons put in place by the Sooners;

1. Only one player can distribute drugs at any given time. This will mitigate recurrence of an unfortunate instance from 1989 when Charles Thompson was arrested for selling cocaine and many people were surprised it wasn't Jamelle Holieway.
2. Automobile dealerships are limited to providing U.S. built automobiles to athletes.
3. Players may only accept exempt positions, elimating that pesky "reporting of hours" problem.
4. Employers are required pay employee-athletes in small, unmarked bills.
5. The company responsible for maintaining the artificial turf at Gaylord Family Memorial Stadium has been relieved of it's duties.
6. The contract for mowing the infield grass at Marita Hynes Field has been terminated.

The Sooners believe these measures will keep the NCAA at bay for a while.

Sooners Receive At Large Bid in Baseball

I was REALLY suprised to see the Sooners get picked for the NCAA tourney, so I decided to do a little research on the topic. I found the handy sight WarrenNolan.com, which made my research so much easier.

• There are 30 teams to receive automatic bids, and 34 at large bids.
• The Sooners RPI ranking was 42; there were six other teams with a lower RPI ranking than OU to receive an at large bid - UCLA (43); Alabama (46); Tulane (48); New Orleans (53); St. John's (54); and UC Davis (58). That made me feel better that we weren't the only stragglers let in.
• Based solely on RPI, here are the teams with the biggest beef: a) Clemson- played the toughest schedule in the land, and had a RPI of 25. They were the highest rated in terms of RPI to be omitted. Other teams with RPI above UC Davis that were left outside were Baylor, Wazzu, K State, College of Charleston, Missouri State, Wake Forest, and defending champion Oregon State.
• The ACC got 6 teams in, and those all had RPIs of 16 or above. The Big 12 had 6 teams as well.
• Teams with fewer losses against weaker competition (less than 20 losses for New Orleans and St. John's against a SOS in the 100s) meant more than a breakeven record against top notch competition, which means weeping and gnashing of teeth for Clemson, Baylor, Washington State and Kansas State.

That concludes today's baseball analysis. And if the Sooners drop out in Tempe over the weekend while I'm on vacation, it'll probably be this year's college baseball analysis.

Memorial Day

Work and travel made it difficult to properly memorialize Sooner great Jack Mildren last week.

On Memorial Day, in a completely insufficient tribute to those who died fighting for our freedoms to do stuff like post stuff online for free, here's a link to a fabulous SI story by William Nack about Sooner Bob Kalsu, who died serving our country during the Vietnam War.

Take a moment to remember those who paved the way.

3 Centimeters

Interesting note in the DMN today; seems the Aggies were hosting a swim meet and due to faulty placement of equipment, the "track" was 3 centimeters short. This is an Agricultural and Mechanical school! Surely the Ag side was leading the effort here, as I'm sure the Mechanical folks would have measured appropriately.

This wouldn't have happened if Reveille VII were still in charge...

Way too Early Big 12 Preview

I was thinking about covering Women's softball, but cooler heads prevailed. Before people like Phil Steele and Street and Smith (who actually study this stuff) get their college fb preview mags out, I thought I would go out on a limb with a preview without being bogged down by facts and stuff.

North -
1. Missouri - I am basing this on the assumption that Missouri will not sell the rights to host their long time rival to Kansas City or St. Louis, and therefore will host the Big 12 North Championship game. Road games for the Tigers are: Bugeaters, Horns, Baylor and Iowa State.
2. Kansas - Mark Mangino expected to regain focus from home sale by regular season. Last year, Mangino was quoted as saying something to the effects of "cupcakes helped". This year's non conference - better known as preseason at Phog U - is full of pastries as well: Florida International, La Tech, at South Florida (must be a scheduling error) and Sam Houston State, led by senior Rhett Bomar. Kansas conference road games are: Bugeasters, Sooners, Sooners and Missouri. This difference is the reason I'm picking the Tigers.
3 (tie). Colorado, Nebraska, I could make a case for each of these teams to be 3-4. Maybe I'll actually research this later. Nebraska hosts Missouri, Kansas and Colorado, but that may just give them the opportunity to lose big at home. Colorado should be improved this year.
5. Kansas State - and Kansas State does not have Texas on the schedule to push around this year, or they could tie for third as well.
6. Iowa State - I expect Chizik's team to lose to South Dakota State or Kent State; upset Iowa and go winless in the Big 12.

South -
1. Oklahoma - the Sooners and Longhorns come into the season with defensive questions. Whoever solves them will win the South.
2. Texas - See above. New DC Will Muschamp may be the answer.
3. Texas Tech - Coach Leach continues to be on the outside looking in for a Big 12 South title.
4. Texas A&M - TAMU led the Big 12 in NFL picks. This team still has talent. They will improve with Sherman as coach, and get to a bowl game.
5. Oklahoma State - Mike Gundy will turn 41 this year. He will still be a man. Oklahoma State will be a sleeper pick of some prognositcators. And they will disappoint those same folks.
6. Baylor - The Bears will be more exciting this year with Art Briles at the helm, and will beat Iowa State for their sole Big 12 win. I want this to be wrong. At Houston, the Briles led Cougars often hit the bigger bullies with a surprise first half, then succumbed in the second half. I expect Baylor to inspire a couple of butt chewings at the half.

Nichol gone

Two schools of thought of the Sooner fans I've spoken with:

1) no big deal, because Landry Jones is a stud;
2) huge loss, because Halzle is a fraud as a backup QB.

The official LandThieves view: I have no freaking clue. I recall eighteen months ago, there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth b/c the 2007 QB "was not on campus yet" per all the radio pundits I listened to on the way home from games. OU managed to do without Tommy Grady, we survived without Noah Allen. No disrespect intended to those gentlemen, but it's not like Troy Aikman Jr. transferred out the door. Pardon me, I digress. Somewhere between the late fall of 2006 and the late summer of 2007, Sam Bradford figured out how to play QB at a very high level, and Halzle was capable in a backup role. Was Nichol a bust? I wouldn't say that. He may go on to have a very successful college career...he's got three years of eligibility left, and we here at LandThieves wish him well. Unless he lands in Stillwater or Austin, and we'll pray for curses upon him.

As for the view that Landry Jones is going to save the program next...let's hold off on that. Twelve months ago, everyone was convinced Nichol would separate himself over the summer and would take the reigns in the fall. Didn't work out that way. Jones may redshirt a year and QB for the next three years. He could blow a knee out in spring ball next year. For all we know, he could do a marvelous impersonation of Hunter Wall, Rhett Bomar or Brent Rawls.

We'll hoist a drink to Keith Nichol
Who found himself in a pickle
On the depth chart as three
Was painful to see
He found this football thing fickle.

Keith, best of luck from the HeadThief and it's faithful reader(s).

Aggie Scoop

Two items re: Cash Machine U:


1. Reveille VII has given us a preview of his retirement speech. Check it out at Reveille's Final Days.

2. In researching Reveille's speech, I googled "Jason Castro". The picture of Fidel Castro playing baseball is classic, but my favorite has to be this one, identified by searching "Jason Castro Aggie". Great tattoo pic, and a great joke.

Academic Progress, per the NCAA

APR for Big 12 Football, pulled from the Indianapolis Star

1. Oklahoma, Texas
2. Nebraska
3. Missouri
4. Baylor
5. Kansas State, Oklahoma State
6. Texas A&M
7. Colorado
8. Texas Tech
9. Iowa State
10. Kansas

Men's Basketball

1. Kansas
2. Oklahoma State, Missouri
3. Texas
4. Baylor, Texas Tech
5. Nebraska
6. Texas A&M
7. Oklahoma
8. Kansas State
9. Colorado
10. Iowa State

Kelvin Sampson phoned to offer his congratulation, but Joe Castiglione was unavailable.

Clemens Character Euthanized

Roger Clemens character was euthanized Sunday after several fractures made it impossible for his character to continue. Long time attorney and golfing buddy Rusty Hardin said, "There was no way to save it. It just couldn't stand anymore."

Clemens' character had run a valiant race, but was unable to survive repeated stress over the past week, after allegations of multiple extra-marital affairs surfaced last week, including, a 15-year old Mindy McCready, John Daly's ex-wife, and a Manhattan bartender.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Athletes issued a statement. "The NY Daily News whipped Clemens' character unmercifully over the past two weeks. We believe the newspaper should be suspended."

Reveille Headed down the Home Stretch

Reveille VII is officially retired on May 10. In honor of the auspicious occasion, we have a commemorative motivational poster for you.

Motivational Poster Series returns

I think this kid's just stunned that you can actually do something so bad that Les Miles will kick a player off the team.

Perrilloux gone

Well, many (both) of you may recall Ryan Perriloux proclaiming he was better than Vince Young and he would save Greg Davis' job in Austin.

News today is that RP is gone from LSU.

I'm sure a nice D1-AA school is next in RP's future. It would be so fitting if he ended up at Sam Houston State, battling Rhett Bomar for the QB spot. The good thing about that for RP is it's still very close to casinos in Louisiana.

Clemens Watch

Earlier this week, I read a comment on Deadspin that Roger Clemens attorney, Rusty Hardin, was also the attorney for Arthur Andersen, LLP in their suits related to Enron. That worked out well. Through some extensive research on the web, I found the following other high profile engagements:

• Calvin Murphy, Calvin was accused of three counts of aggravated sexual assault of a child and three counts of indecency with a child - by his children. Rusty's quite proud of gaining an acquittal for Mr. Murphy. Calvin either raised five children who are liars that wish to extort money from their father by destroying his reputation, or he's a child molester who molested his own children.
• General Counsel, Bad Idea Jeans Co.
• Special Assistant to the Fuhrer, Germany, 1937
• Editor, New York Times, 2003
• Design Engineer, Hindenberg, 1935
• Financial Advisor, Martha Stewart
• Football Coach Search Committee, Norman, Ok, 1996

So, in a nutshell, if you're calling Rusty Hardin to defend you, you're probably already screwed.