LandThief Glossary

Alexander Graham Bell – Kelvin Sampson. Also referred to as AGB, because it's easier to type.
Boone State University – Oklahoma State University. T. Boone Pickens donated $165 million to the athletic program. I’m renaming the school on their behalf. Occasionally referred to as Chokie State.
Bugeaters – Nebraska Cornhuskers nickname in an earlier era.
Coach Hair Gel - Boone State coach Mike Gundy.
Cash Machine University – Texas A&M. Their football helmets list ATM on them. I don’t think we need further explanation. If we do need further explanation, google Jackie Sherrill. My older daughter walked into the room the other day while the Aggie - Jayhawk game was on. Her first question was, "Why do they have ATM on their helmets?"
CU Later – Colorado University. No reason, other than I remember Sooner students chanting this to the CU basketball team in the mid 80s.
Desert Era – periods coached by Schnellenberger and Blake at the University of Oklahoma.
Dust Pirates - Texas Tech University.
HeadVisor – Bob Stoops
Keith Jackson Jr. - Jermaine Greshman. Watch him play and you'll understand.
Moses – Josh Heupel. QB of the Sooners in 1999-2000. Presently QB coach for the Sooners. Moses led the Sooners out of the desert and into the promised land of National Championships.
My Little Pony - Colt McCoy, Texas QB
Phog U - Kansas University.
The Great Pirate – Sand Pirates coach Mike Leach. The Great Pirate was OC at LandThieves U in 1999, and recruited Josh Heupel, aka Moses.
Travis County Jail College - University of Texas
Willie and Friends - Kansas State University. I'm a big fan of Willie the Wildcat.

Big 12 North Predictions

By HeadThief, Senior Editor-in-charge

1 – Nebraska – even though the Big 12 media folks and the great Phil Steele picked Mizzou for the top post, I am going with the Bugeaters. Why the Bugeaters will win: a) I have friends that are former Bugeater players; b) N has returning 46 letterman that will be juniors or seniors, so it’s an experienced bunch; c) they were very close to a 11-3 season last year, losing narrowly to a ‘horn team with a healthy colt McCoy and they were a rectal cranial inversion away from beating Auburn.; and d) Mizzou has never recovered from firing Warren Powers in 1984. Why I could be wrong: They play Mizzou in Columbia. If the more informed pundits are right, this could be the difference in the conference.
2 – CU Later - frankly, I feel like spots 2-5 in the Big 12 North are a tossup, and I would be lying if I pretended to have some level of insight into college football north of Norman. I used the RANDBETWEEN function in Excel to make these picks. Why would Bill Gates pick the Buffaloes #2 after having a miserable season last year? They have nine returning starters from last year. The Buffs offense was anemic, so that may not be a good thing. Cody Hawkins, Coaches boy, has had about 18 years in the system, so he should be an improvement over last year. Most of the other offensive “weapons” return. CU Later has six returning starters on defense. The D will be a bit better this year just by virtue of having an offense that is capable of a sustained drive or two. Why they won’t improve: C’mon this is Division 1 football! If Cody Hawkins can’t play, Dan gets to bench his son or lose the team. After seeing how well Dirk Koetter did at ASU, and how Boise State struggled so mightily after Hawkins left, we may find that present BSU coach and former assistant Chris Peterson and the Boise players were the reason the Bronchos were good, not the coaches.
3 - Kansas – Fear the Shamangino. Why the Jayhawks will improve: Kerry Meier has a year of experience under his belt. Why Phog U won’t improve: Mangino hasn’t seen his belt in years.
4 – Missouri – Why the Tigers will improve: They’ve got 9 returning offensive starters, and will roll through Illinois, Ole Miss, Western Michigan and the vaunted Redbirds of Illinois State. They host Nebraska and play Phog U in Kansas City. Why the Tigers won’t improve: The Tigers have not demonstrated the ability to close the season under Gary Pinkel. The first two conference games are against the Bugeaters and at my beloved LandThieves. That two game losing streak will leave them gasping for air and they will limp down the stretch. Back to the Warren Powers curse…I’m not really into that sort of karma/curse thing, but name another school that has had the raw deal with the Zebras like the fifth down game against CU Later and the Bugeater Ben kick for a touchdown catch. If Gordon Reese returns to the replay official booth, ten bucks says Missouri is playing.
5 – Kansas State – I don’t know why BG picked this team fifth, but I’m sticking with him. I think his philanthropic efforts have taken away from his prognostications. Why BG may be wrong, and KSU is higher: Willie the Wildcat and his friends return several key spots on offense, including versatile QB Josh Freeman. Why Willie and Friends could nudge Iowa State for the 5th spot: Take away the freakish W against Texas, and their most impressive victory was a 31-27 victory over Boone State. Wildcat fans are still trying to erase the memory of the Texas Bowl beating by Rutgers last year. Thank goodness that was on the NFL Network and most people didn’t see it.
6 – Iowa State – I have a lot of respect for new Cyclone Gene Chizik, but I think the cupboard is pretty bare here right now. Coachkiller Bret Meyer returns as QB for the Cyclones but they lose their two top RBs. Chizik’s defensive prowess should improve the D some, but it won’t get them out of the Big 12 North basement.

Miss Cleo contributed to this report

Who's the Best #3

by HeadThief, LandThief Press Senior Editor-in-Charge


I believe the #3 has a little bit more suspense to it than our previous jersey polls. There's not a definitive leader, IMO.

• Josh Norman – RB/WR from 1998-2001 Josh wore #30, then 31, then #3 the final two years. Josh holds the record for the most passes caught in a game (11 against Dust University in 2001), 8th in most catches in a season, and tenth in most receptions in his career.
• Darrol Ray – two-time all conference DB, also was the Sooners punter his junior year in 1978, averaging 38 yards per kick. Darrol is fourth all time in career interceptions., and tied for second for a season total, with 8 in 1978.Derrick Shepard – WR for the Sooners from 1983-86. Derrick led the Sooners in catches as a sophomore in 84, and is 17th all time in receptions and 15th in reception yards (he completed his senior year 3rd on the list). Derrick returned punts in 1983, as well as the national championship year of 1985. Derrick was a graduate assistant at OU in 1998. Derrick played for 5 years in the NFL and passed away at the age of 35 from a heart attack, while serving as an assistant coach at Wyoming University.
• Reggie Smith – a work in progress, Reggie is a junior this year. He led the Sooners in kick returns as a freshman, posting the fourth highest yardage total for a season. Reggie is the preseason Big 12 Defensive POY. Reggie was an first team all conference in 2006.
• Tony Dirienzo – kicker during the early 70s. Kicked a 60 yarder against KU in 73. Fihished his career holding nearly every kicking record for the Sooners.

Other #3's included:
Terrence Brown – QB/WR during latter Gibbs era and start of Desert era. I vaguely remember him being pressed into service at the Copper Bowl, which was GG’s last game as coach.
Eric Moore – Sooner QB off and on during the black hole era of Sooner football, he wore this number in 97-98.
Jejuan Rankins – WR from 2002-05, JJR wore this number in 2003-05. JeJuan led the team in punt returns his senior year. He had the sixth highest TD reception total in Sooner history.

Top 10 things Coach Fran believes

Last Tuesday at the Big 12 Media Days, Cash Machine University coach Dennis Franchione talked to the media. During his discussion, he commented that his team is capable of winning all of its games this year. Here at LandThieves, we have an exclusive Top 10 list of Things Dennis Franchione Believes (there’s really 11, just like the Big 10 conference) .

11. Apollo landings on the moon were faked by NASA.
10. Al Gore invented the internet.
9. UFOs landed at Roswell, New Mexico.
8. JFK was killed by the CIA.
7. Oklahoma ran up the score in its 77-0 win in 2003.
6. Billy Gillespie really will stay in touch.
5. Elvis Presley is still alive.
4. O.J. Simpson is innocent.
3. Barry Bonds has not used performance enhancing drugs.
2. Michael Vick is more of a cat person.
1. “My play calling is better when I’m wearing women’s underwear.”

Boone State needs someone to die

Boone State needs someone to die
By HeadThief, Senior Editor-in-Charge

I read last evening that Boone State has invested more of their hard earned dinero with good ol' T. Boone Pickens. It's good to know they have some excess money after paying for those insurance policies for their donors while waiting for them to die. One particular quote stood out to me at the end of the article. Boone State AD Mike Holder - pardon the digression, but how many schools promote the freakin' golf coach to AD? - responded to a question about the timeline for building the indoor athletics facility with: "We don't know. It all depends on Boone Pickens' ability to grow this fund. We won't build anything else until we have the money to pay for it."

Then it hit me. The football schedule this year is all part of the master plan. Playing Georgia on the road to open up the year, getting your tail whipped and having a booster die during the beatdown is potentially much more lucrative than paying Houston Baptist to travel up for a meaningless home game. Plus, some of those 1-AA schools can be pretty competitive.

New Ratings for Dirty Programs

Three or so weeks ago, Mike Freeman, a columnist on sportsline.com, rated the Sooners #3 in the nation at cheating, behind SEC powerhouses Alabama and Auburn. There were a couple of problems with this story 1) Mr. Freeman didn't exactly give much analysis as to how he got to his top 10, other than a brief narrative and; 2) Mr. Freeman is quite familiar with cheating to get ahead. I'm not sure if this means he is an authority on lying, or serves to further discredit his journalism.

Yesterday, we have Pete Halliday at AOL Fanhouse ranking the 10 dirtiest programs. In this new ranking, he actually has identified a mathematical rankings. In this scoring model, the Sooners are ranked #2, behind the Texas Tech Red Raiders. This is just another example of the officials screwing the Sooners, as I'm sure that call at the goal line in Lubbock a couple of years ago vaulted Dust University ahead of us. Seriously, if you review the scoring, Halliday actually ignores recruiting in his analysis, because you can't control "rogue boosters", but you get points in the scoring model for lacking institutional control, which is how you control rogue boosters. This makes as much sense as those computer models in the BCS system that have to ignore margin of victory.

So, who do you believe? The sportswriters who have us at #3, or the computers, who have us at #2. It's a shame we don't have a playoff so these things can be settled on the field.

For a different sort of rankings, I refer you to the fabulous folks at Everyday Should be Saturday, who have a little contest called the Fulmer Cup, in which programs get points for various criminal transgressions. Presently, Oklahoma isn't even in the Top 10 on that board. Personally, I'm disappointed the Sooners continue to have some challenges in the compliance area, but proud of the good ol' alma mater that we're staying off the police blotter, for the most part.

I'm sure we'll see someone else's rankings soon, let's hope they can get recruiting, academic fraud, text messaging, criminal activity rolled into one. A "Phil Steele wannabe" with a law degree, a computer and lots of spare time. There's got to be an unemployed lawyer out there that could help.

Surely we will get extra points for naming our athletic teams after a group of cheats.

Ramonce Taylor Watch List Announced

With all the preseason watch lists coming out, we here at LandThieves Press got a little jealous that we didn't have a watch list. We now present to you...

Ramonce Taylor watch list announced

Coppell, TX (LTP) - The Landthieves Athletic Club has announced the Watch List for the 2007 Ramonce Taylor Trophy, which is awarded to the most amusing criminal mischief in college football and is sponsored by Colt 45 Malt Liquor.

This is the inaugural year of the Ramonce Taylor award. The awards ceremony will be held at an undisclosed location in Coppell, TX later this year.

The Ramonce Taylor Trophy is named after former Longhorn RB Ramonce Taylor. Taylor was arrested in 2006 for felony drug possession after a fight broke out at a party Taylor was attending. Taylor apparently phoned 911 to report a fight and his car window being broken. During the police visit, Taylor consented to a search of his car, where police found 5 pounds of marijuana. His attorney was then quoted as saying “If he's carrying five pounds of marijuana he's either the stupidest man alive or he thinks he's bullet proof.” Which may explain the live ammo also found in Taylor’s care at the time.

The link to the 2007 candidates for the Ramonce Taylor award is provided below. Additional candidates may be added during the season. Anyone with an arrest, citation or indictment during the 2007 season is eligible for consideration. Texas Longhorns Robert Joseph and Henry Melton both excelled at voluntary workouts this summer, but Joseph fell out of the running with an unfortunate suspension and transfer after his DUI arrest.

http://www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com/index.php?s=&change_well_id=16&url_channel_id=15

What I did on my summer vacation, Mangino style

Ladies and Gents - my coverage of the Big 12 north was lacking during Big 12 media days this week. This was in part to all the buzz created by a little Weed, and the fact that Big 12 North is, well - mediocre until proven otherwise. Nonetheless, while nearing spontaneous combustion at SeaWorld, I was able to capture this stunning photo of KU coach Mark Mangino. The strength of those whales is amazing.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Musings by the HeadThief

• Saw on deadspin.com where Luther Campbell is being welcomed back to the U. I can only assume fatigues, pay for play, steroids, and gunfire are on the way back in Miami as well.
• UCLA assistant coach arrested for burglary. Now even the coaches are getting into trouble. I can remember the days when the Sooners were on the leading edge of athletic incarceration, we've clearly been surpassed. I recall a conversation in 1989 explaining to a coworker that Charles Thompson's arrest for possession of cocaine with intent to distribute was a federal crime, but did not warrant additional NCAA sanctions.
• LandThieves to play FishEaters in 2012 and 2013. Sure hope Jimmy Clausen doesn't redshirt.

Baylor U Plants Seeds for "Weed for Heisman" Campaign

By HeadThief, LandThief Press Editor-in-Charge

A trip to the McIntosh County Courthouse yielded an impromptu interview with former Oklahoma Univeristy gridiron star Jamelle Holieway. Holieway revealed that he has principal ownership in the sports marketing firm Do You Know Me, Inc., and that Baylor University Athletic Department has engaged DYKMI to launch an aggressive marketing campaign toking - I mean toting - John David Weed as a dark horse Heisman candidate. Mr. Holieway, presently limited to one phone call a day in his present accommodations, has leveraged the entire campaign to a newcomer on his staff, Jeff Spicoli. Spicoli was a classmate of Mr. Holieway's at Ridgemont High in the early 1980s. Mr. Spicoli was unable to break from his busy schedule to sit down for a chat, but we were able to convince him to pose for the photo above.

Baylor has been reluctant to fund Heisman marketing campaigns in the past as a result of an ill advised campaign 39 years ago. Baylor football is still recovering from the remmants of that 1968 Heisman marketing campaign when BU touted the prospects of RB Pinkie Palmer. While Mr. Palmer, a senior, led the Bears in rushing and total yard, he was unable to unseat Orenthal James Simpson in Heisman voting that year. Mr. Simpson tallied 2,853 points that year, to Pinkie's zero.

It is this reporter's opinion that Mr. Spicoli should start a grass roots campaign on behalf of Mr. Weed, and hope the campaign grows from there.

Baylor Announces Starting QB

While stuck in construction traffic on I-35 between Waco and San Antonio on his way back from the Big 12 Media Days, Guy Morris sat on the shoulder with our own Joe Huff and revealed a change of heart in his starting QB situation.

LT: Coach Morris, I appreciate the opportunity to get the inside scoop. Who’s your QB? Is it Juco transfer John David Weed? Or former Kent State Flash Michael Machen?
GM: Well, I’ve decided to go try Weed.

LT: Can you elaborate on your decision making process? We expected you to wait through two a days before you and your staff made a decision.
GM: First of all, he’s a good kid from a great family. His father, Zig and mother, Mary Jane, are outstanding. He’s just the best of both of them…like two people rolled into one.

LT: With all due respect, Coach, you’re losing focus. Could you answer the question? Can you tell me about your decision making process?
GM: Dude, he’s just some awesome. When Weed’s in the locker room, his presence just permeates the entire team. Everyone seems to settle down when they know Weed is around. Are those brownies? Mind if I have one?

LT: Leave my tape recorder alone. What about on the field? Does he have a stronger arm? Better decision making? Quicker feet?
GM: Man, I am so hungry right now - sorry, it’s really just an overall offensive feel. When we go with Weed, the offense just seems to be so much more creative, and it just flows, man. He’s adjusted to the pace of the game at this level, and the game really seems to slow down for him. He’s just awesome.

LT: Will you continue to get the other QBs reps in the system?
GM: You bet, if there’s one thing we all know about Weed, you don’t want to burn him out.

LT: I’ve heard that Weed was injury prone at the Junior College level. Can you elaborate on that? Does it cause you any concern going into the 2007 season.
GM: Joe, we did extensive probing in this area during the off-season. What we found that he was susceptible to muscle injuries, but his joints are fine.

LT: The offensive line was not a strong point for the Bears last year. Is that a concern this year? How do you feel about that unit going into the season.
GM: I’ve got to be honest with you, Jim -
LT: It’s Joe.
GM: Sorry, John. I have to confess the O-Line is a concern. QBs can wear down over the course of the season, and I would expect that Weed could lose his effectiveness after people start taking hits on him.

LT: Coach Morris, I’m out of time, and puns. Thanks for your time, and best of luck this season.
GM: Sure, dude. Hey are you done with those Cheetos?

Mike Leach in new endorsement deals

LandThieves Insider Joe Huff has learned that Texas Tech football mastermind and former LandThief U Offensive Coordinator Mike Leach has signed two new endorsement deals, with Nike Apparel and Long John Silver’s Restaurants. Terms of the deals were not disclosed, but LandThief Senior Photographer Doodler was able to secure this photo of Mr. Leach while in San Antonio.

Mr. Leach would not comment further on the synergies of the endorsements, and frankly we were a little bit speechless ourselves.

Exclusive Interview with Boone State Coach Mike Gundy

LandThieves Insider Joe Huff sat down with Boone State U Coach Mike Gundy at the Big 12 Media days. Below is a brief Q&A from that session.

LT: Coach, the Cowboys are taking a different approach in scheduling this year by starting off at Georgia. Can you talk a little bit about that?

MG: What? We’re playing Georgia? Can you check that again, I thought we were playing Georgia State.

LT: Nope. Says right here, University of Georgia. I don’t think ESPN2 would be televising Oklahoma State at Georgia State.

MG: We’re opening with an SEC school on the road? And it’s on TV?

LT: Well, let’s move on. Last year you seemed a little bit indecisive on quarterbacks; you seemed to switch from time to time from Zac Robinson to Bobby Reid. Have you decided on a QB yet?

MG: I believe a QB has to make the players around him better. When I was QB, I made Thurman Thomas and Barry Sanders into NFL Hall of Fame caliber players. Kelly Cook and Hart Lee Dykes wouldn’t have developed into NFL players without me calling the shots out there. I don’t see Barry Sanders walking through that door anytime soon.

LT: The rest of your non conference schedule is pretty pedestrian. How do you see the season progressing?

MG: The Sun Belt conference is pretty competitive. We’re playing the Rice Owls and the USC Trojans this year, so we’re going to have to take our game to the next level to be successful this year. Plus, any team where Rhett Bomar is QB’ing is sure to be a quality foe. We can’t count on four wins against non-conference patsies this year, squeaking by against Baylor and upsetting someone in the North and making it to a bowl game.

LT: Uh, coach, you’re playing the Florida Atlantic Owls, Troy Trojans, and Sam Houston State Bearkats.

MG: Oh. Well, that should make up for visiting Georgia for the opener, then.

LT: Boone Pickens has donated millions of dollars to Boone State U to improve the facilities. Do you feel any pressure from Mr. Pickens to win a national championship in Stillwater?

MG: I wasn’t expecting that question. Let me call Mr. Pickens and see if I can answer that for you. Can I get back to you?

Who's the Best #2

Dean Blevins – Dean might get consideration in the lifetime achievement award, but was sandwiched between Steve Davis and Thomas Lott at the QB position in the mid 70s. He did lead the Sooners in passing yards in 1976-7, but threw for less than 400 yards each season.
Tashard Choice – transferred to Ga Tech after one year to be closer to his family. Considering that he has somehow thrived under the tutelage of offensive mastermind Chan Gailey, we can only imagine what he would have done here subbing for AD when he was injured.
Malcolm Kelly – wore #2 for a year before switching to #4.
Leon Perry – fullback from 85-89, presently #20 in all time rushing yards for the Sooners.
Jim Rockford – how he played football and starred on that TV show at the same time requires some consideration.
Derrick Strait –All Conference in 2002-03, and All American in 03, Strait played four years as a DB and made several huge plays during his career, particularly his freshman year when he was named Big 12 defensive newcomer of the year. During that championship season of 2000, my simple mind can recall a game saving deflection against Chokie State, a huge interception for a score against the Bugeaters, and a deflection late in the game against Kansas State. College greatness has yet to translate into NFL success.
Corey Warren – played from 1990-1993, and finished his career #2 in receiving yards at LandThief U, and was a favorite target of QB, now RB coach Cale Gundy.
Mike Woods – DB from 1997-99

Vote to the right, and leave comments as you wish below.

Sooners work on Habitat for Humanity

I poke enough fun at my alma mater, but this is a neat story about good things happening around the football program.

http://www.soonersports.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/072307aab.html

Exclusive Interview with Bob Stoops

Joe Huff sat down this weekend with LandThief football coach Bob Stoops in San Antonio to swat a few mosquitoes and talk Sooner football for the upcoming year.

LT: Coach, thanks for taking time out of your schedule. Did you and Carol stop at the outlet malls in Hillsboro or San Marcos on your way down?

BS: No, we own some other commercial real estate, but we’re down on retail properties right now. We believe the market’s saturated and due a correction. We’re big on tax free munis right now.

LT: On to the football questions. A recent article on sportsline.com - by a writer fired for lying on his resume, so he knows cheating when he sees it - rated OU as the third dirtiest football program, trailing Auburn at #2 and Alabama in the top spot. Do you have any comment?

BS: We have a great tradition here at the University. We have traditions in winning football games and receiving NCAA sanctions. That being said, I don’t pay any attention to preseason polls. I do know that we’ve practiced in a great way this spring and we’ll be ready for the regular season. You have to tip your hat to Auburn and Alabama…the SEC is one of the top conferences in the country…Auburn has had a lot of success lately with reduced academics for their players, and Alabama has a long standing tradition of cold hard cash outlays to their student athletes. We believe we’ve go a more balanced attack here at the U of O…you’ve got the Phys Ed degree track balanced with a new telecommuting program for our student-athlete-employees. We believe it is one of the first of its kind in the country - that anyone will admit to. Is that a recorder?

LT: Uh, no. It’s the new iPhone. Coach, there’s a lot of speculation as to who you’re QB will be this year. Do you have any concerns there?

BS: Joe, I have complete confidence in our team. Ya know, it’s not like we’ve had a lot of success with the big name, hot shot QB recruits. Hunter Wall had one great fake punt (and that was all my play calling), Brent Rawls wasn’t exactly a home run, and Tommy Grady has worked his way into the third string QB spot in the post Urban Meyer era Utah Utes. I’m not even mentioning the best little car salesman in East Texas. I’ll take my chances with any of these three guys handing it off to Allen Patrick and DeMarco Murray. We might resurrect the tight end reverse with Jermaine Gresham to mix it up a little. It’s been 20 years since we’ve used that little nugget in the playbook.

LT: Do you think the passing game will develop this year as the season progresses?

BS: Sure. I’m expecting to switch from a direct handoff to more of a toss back to the tailback later in the year as the players get more quality reps. By the time the bowl game comes around we will put some more wrinkles into our package, like some play action passes and maybe a fade route or two to Malcolm Kelly.

LT: Thanks for your time, coach.

BS: Sure, I need to get back to Malcolm Kelly. I want to see if we can convince him to work on his blocking this year, return for his senior season when we should be able to put pass plays back into our offense.

Von Schamann's kick

This kick never ceases to amaze me. Uwe directs the opposing crowd in "block that kick" chant, then nails the game winner.

LandThieves analyzes PreSeason All Big 12 Selections

by Senior Football Analyst Joe Huff
After spending several minutes pouring over the PS team I am here to break down the selections. TU leads with 7 selections, in addition to QB Colt McCoy being selected as Offensive POY. LandTheif DB and PR Reggie Smith is selected as Defensive POY.

The Big 12 North has 10 representatives on the squad in total. Mizzou - projected to win the coveted "team to receive a beatdown in the Big 12 championship game" award - only has one representative, TE Martin Rucker. Okie State, Cash Machine U and LandThief U each have three players on the team. The Mighty Bears and the Dust Pirates have no players on the squad.

The most heinous mistake with these selections is Bugeater QB Sam Keller as Newcomer of the Year. Based upon my extensive video breakdown of the highlights of the Sooner spring game through my crimson colored glasses, Freshman RB DeMarco Murray should receive the nod here.

Liberal Media Picks Texas First in Big 12 South

By Bill O'Reilly, Special Contributor to LandThieves


Well, the left leaning media has done it again. They went and picked the left leaning, commie pig Texas Longhorns first in the Big 12 South. And who's second, the former Democratic senator led University of Oklahoma Sooners. The "media" writers completely ignored the positives on the Baptist affiliated Baylor Bears side, where they only have four returning starters and lost 32 lettermen from last years team. Normally, returning four starters and 32 lettermen would be a problem, but in the Bears instance, most right minded thinking pundits believe that change is good.


The media bias continued in the North Division, where Missouri, noted for it's fine journalism school, was picked to finish first. Colorado, a state that hosts several large religious organizations and the Air Force Academy, had it's self titled university picked 5th in the Big 12 North. The mainstream media paid no attention to the Buffalo's 15 returning starters from their 2-10 season last year.

Selections in both divisions are classic examples of how the leftist media continue to ignore the facts to push their tax and spend, anti-religion, anti-military social agenda.

Sooners Announce Additional Infractions, Vacate Blake Era

By HeadThief, LandThief Press Editor-in-Charge

Norman, OK (LTP) - In a stunning development today, the University of Oklahoma reported additional violations and self imposed sanctions related to Michael Vick’s alleged involvement in a competitive dog fighting operation.

President David Boren announced that the “failure to monitor” appeal regarding JD Quinn and Rhett Bomar's work at Big Red Sports and Imports was dropped. In a new revelation, Boren admitted that the University had failed to monitor the Michael Vick dog fighting situation properly and announced additional self imposed sanctions. “During a standard internal review, we realized that we had just as much ability to monitor Michal Vick allegedly lying about dog fighting on his property as we did about finding out that J.D. Quinn and Rhett Bomar were lying to us about hours worked at Big Red Sports. We felt it was in our best interests to report the matter ourselves, take responsibility and impose additional penalties. We are hopeful that the NCAA will find that we’ve addressed the situation appropriately.”

In addition to the loss of scholarships and vacating 8 wins from 2005 previously announced, the Sooners have now vacated the entire Blake era. John Blake was employed as head coach during the 1996, 97 and 98 seasons, and the Sooners amassed a 12-22 record during Mr. Blake's tenure. "While it is unfair to discount the hard work of many players and staff during that time, the truth is many of our fan base have been trying to vacate those seasons from their memories for years now. Give me a break...we were beaten by TCU, Tulsa, San Diego State, Kansas and Northwestern, among others, during those years."

Joe Castiglione indicated he is hopeful that investigators will find something to link the university to either the Reggie Bush house rental scandal at USC or Barry Bonds’ alleged steroid use. “We are optimistic that we can shed ourselves of the Schnellenberger era as well, that was a disaster.”

OU’s all time football record, after considering the self imposed sanctions, improves to 745-273-53, a winning percentage of 72.04%. This launched the Sooners into the #3 spot for winningest college football programs by winning percentage, as the Sooners leapfrogged the Texas Longhorns and the Ohio State Buckeyes.

Boren, Stoops on Hunger Strike

Boren, Stoops protest NCAA sanctions
By HeadThief, LandThief Press Editor-in-Charge

Norman, OK (LTP) – In an odd development after the NCAA findings were announced Thursday, Oklahoma University President David Boren and Football Coach Bob Stoops simultaneously shouted “No Fair!” slammed their office doors and started listening to loud music. They have not responded to repeated requests to come to dinner or talk out their feelings.

Sources close to the athletic department have hinted that both gentlemen are listening to Twisted Sister’s “We’re not gonna take it” on an endless loop. “They will get eventually get hungry and come out,” said Joe Castiglione, Director of Athletics.

Kenny Mossman, Associate Athletics Director for Communications and author of the Mossman Prophecies, was unavailable to provide a more precise estimate for future public appearances of the duo.

Best Land Thief Footballer to wear #1

Today's the first in an occasional series of best Sooners wearing a specific jersey number. Research of who wore what is done at http://www.soonerstats.com/.

• JC Watts - starting QB of the Sooners in the late 79-80. Later became a US congressman. JC was blessed with some pretty fair running backs in his day...Billy Sims, David Overstreet, Freddie Nixon, and Stanley Wilson. JC QB's OU to 11-1 and 10-2 records in 79-80, with a pretty memorable come from behind finish in the 1981 Orange Bowl over Florida State.
• Mark Bradley - Danny's son. Mark was a standout WR for the Sooners in 2003-04, and now plays for da Bears. Mark returned a kick for a score, threw a pass for a TD, scored on a reverse, and caught a TD pass at OU during his career.
• Danny Bradley - QB of the Sooners in the early 80s. All Big 8 in 1984.
• Zac Henderson - four year starter as DB and two time All American in 76-77. Later played for the Iggles in the NFL.

Several other Land Thieves donned the #1 but didn't qualify for voting in my book, including 1) QB Eric Moore (95-96, a great kid with a cannon for an arm that didn't translate to success on the FB field), 2) QB/RB/WR Eric Mitchell, a versatile talent from the mid 80s, 3) Jarrail Jackson (96-99, most noted for key TD pass and later a punt return for a score in victory against the shorthorns in 1996), 4) Manuel Johnson (2006), 5) Ike Lewis (1989-90), 6) Terrance Simms (2000-02, hobbled by knee injury suffered against Air Force in 2001).

Feel free to cast your vote below and/or add comments.

Billy Tubbs No Matter How Bad the Officiating Is...

My favorite Billy Tubbs moment. The man was a hoops genius, and he is still missed by all of us LandThieves.